These are known as HEREAFTER MOMENTS. (what am I here after)

I guess I should be careful about the virus.
My kids say I have risks to watch out for.
(1) I am over 60
(2) I have type 2 diabetes
(3) I am cold blooded [ my normal temperature is 95 degrees not 98.6]
(4) In 1980, while having a tooth worked on, an assistance told the dentist, she could not find a pulse. I said” that drunk last night was right.” The dentist said.” that drunk?” I said ,” I’m a police officer and when I took a drunk to jail, he said that I didn’t have a heart”
(5) My granddaughter said I should do like her book said and go to a mirror and say “Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of us all” I said OK and when into the bathroom to the mirror and said “Mirror , mirror on the wall” that’s as far as I got before the mirror cracked up. So I’m UGLY too.

must be using auto spell check

Is found on PLUTOTV.COM if your TV has the ability. On channel 375.

I found in the many years I have been here that an easy way to remove splinters ( not sure about under nails) is to coat the area with wood glue. Wait til it dries good, then peel off the glue, which will also pull out the splinter.

I saw a system that may work. When you recognize it as a "robocall", hand the phone to a 3yo and say it's from Santa

Not original, but appropriate

Interesting background- a cemetery

Studded tires are illegal in North Carolina. You can put on chains, but not studes. Also I live in Graham in the middle of the state and we got 12 inches +.

Damn Global Warming!

It's even worse when you are in a Museum

I spent years in Law Enforcement and frequently ticked off higher ups. I was then sent for S (special) H (high) I (intensity) T(training) as punishment>

A few years back, a friend sent me an email. Temperature was 18° without windchill. Email said," Ain't going out til temperature is very close to my age ( 72 )"

My 8 year old granddaughter told me on the way home from school that a boy in her class that his grandfather had died over the weekend and she was sad. I asked "who else would you be sad about"? answer: "Mommy and Daddy". Drove another block, and ask, " any one else?" Instant reply, " Grandma!". I by now am laughing and ask " what if something happened to me?" Again instantly she said, " Oh you won't die. You got all the batteries!" note: my grandchildren have always been told that if a toy is broken, take it to Grandpa, he can fix it." As near as I can figure it, as long as I keep batteries, I won't die.