Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A.George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

So bad that it is incomprehensible! I worked summers at a US Post Office while I went to college. The highest "honor" I received while working there over 3 years, was to be allowed to deliver the registered mail one time. It was considered the most important mail and one speedily delivered letters that were sent by registered mail. So when I decided to mail a substantial check to a travel agent in Canada, I decided to send it registered mail with the USPS. This letter was going from San Francisco to Toronto, Canada. It was mailed on Oct. 12, at 10:15am (it is tracked) and I paid $21 for postage. Where is it now, almost 3 weeks later? In Los Angeles!! Anyone have a guess on when it might arrive at its location in Toronto, Canada?
Bottom line, if you want something to get to its destination, do not use the US Postal Service!

Quora.com

Do you believe a higher power created the universe, or do you believe in just the Big Bang?


This is the guy who came up with the Big Bang theory:

No, not the guy to the left with the wild hair – that’s just Albert Einstein. The guy to the right with the weird collar. Yes, Georges Lemaître was not just an astronomer, physicist and mathematician; he was also a priest.

He figured out his theory based on Einstein’s general relativity and figured out that the universe could not be stable and had to expand or contract. Based on the evidence from Edwin Hubble that the universe was expanding, then distances in the universe had to be shorter in the past. And if you extrapolate far enough back into time, you will reach a point where all distances are zero.

Ironically, nobody liked Lemaître’s idea, not even Einstein himself at first. It sounded too much like “let there be light” to them – Lemaître was after all also a priest. Heck, even the name “Big Bang” was invented to mock Lemaître’s theory!

But eventually, evidence won over the sceptics, and now everyone accepts the Big Bang theory no matter if they believe in gods or not. Those who do believe in at least one god sees the Big Bang as how their god created the universe – the answer to the silent “how” following “in the beginning, God created the Heaven and the earth” (or equivalent creation myth in their religion).

The exceptions are a minority of mainly US Evangelical Christians who reject anything which contradicts their literal interpretation of their holy book, and some fringe scientists who reject Einstein’s general relativity.