And why did the chicken go to the library?


To check out a book, book, book.

Welcome from the midlands.

Thank you Jake. That was wonderful.

Welcome from Columbia S.C.

Welcome to the Hog from Columbia, SC.

I'm so old I had to join a carbon dating site...

That's why one of my favorite jokes is...

The world can never be a paper less society, think digital toilet paper...

I once called my wife the dragon lady when she was standing behind me and I didn't know she was there. I told her, "But Honey, every weekend you're draggin' me from one store to the next!"

How do you think that went?

Thank you. Now my brain is full again.

I have and I concur!

I don't care who the president is. That's a good joke!

Two old trees are standing in the forest. The thing about trees is you either like your neighbor or you don’t. If you don’t like your neighbor you’re in for a miserable existence because it’s not like you can get up and move to somewhere else. As it happens though these two trees were fast friends and had grown up together and were over 100 years old. However, even the best of friends have their disagreements.

Such was the case with these two trees because one day they noticed there was a young sapling growing up between them and they started arguing over which of them was the father.

Mr. Beech said it must be a son of a beech and Mr. Birch said it must be a son of a birch! Neither could tell which though because they were both so tall they couldn’t see all the way down to where the young tree was growing.

They argued daily over this until one day a woodpecker came and landed on a branch of Mr. Beech.

“Excuse me, Mr. Woodpecker,” said Mr. Beech. “My good friend Mr. Birch and I have been arguing for the longest time as to which of us may be the father of that young sapling between us. I say it must be a son of a beech while my esteemed colleague says it can only be a son of a birch. Could you please fly down and take a look so we can settle our argument?”

The woodpecker said he would be happy to help them out and flew down to the young sapling below.

We all know that trees are very patient beings but the woodpecker was gone for a couple of hours and even a tree knew that something like this shouldn’t take a very long time.

It was getting late when the woodpecker finally flew back up to tell them what he had found out.

“So Mr. Woodpecker,” asked Mr. Birch, “which of us is the young tree a descendent of?”

Mr. Woodpecker sighed and said, “I’m sorry, but you are both wrong. It is neither a son of a birch nor a son of a beech.”

Both of the old trees were astonished. “Then what could it be?” they asked.

“That, my friends,” said Mr. Woodpecker, “is the finest piece of ash I’ve ever had my pecker in.”

That's how I heard it the first time. It's much funnier that way.

BTW, I'm a Detroit fan...

Just don't use your one iron. Apparently even God can't hit a one iron.

I'm right off of Graystone in the Skyland community.