'nother laugh-out-loud~~~
Jul 8, 2013 13:13:04 #
Craig's list ad--Read it closely folks... a good one.
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2012-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..
The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..
my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a
Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I
made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented
you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was
extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office
and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
he traced your number etc.).
; In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex
　
Probably don't have to ask you to forward this one,
it is priceless!
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2012-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend,
threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and
earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important
message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to
actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket..
The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..
my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a
Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom
Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder
holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with
crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I
made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented
you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I
explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up
my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on
your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was
extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with
all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at
the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the
entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office
and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while
he traced your number etc.).
; In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel
this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your
threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these
rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the
opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've
chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,
Alex
　
Probably don't have to ask you to forward this one,
it is priceless!
Jul 8, 2013 18:18:06 #
Jul 8, 2013 22:11:34 #
Jul 9, 2013 06:01:21 #
elandel
Loc: Milan, Italy
Good, but today with our laws that protect criminals you would go to jail.
This is called progress
This is called progress
Jul 9, 2013 06:11:35 #
jjwright71
Loc: Lubbock,Tx
elandel wrote:
first ya gots to have someone complain and file on yA,har!Good, but today with our laws that protect criminals you would go to jail.
This is called progress
This is called progress
Jul 9, 2013 06:14:21 #
elandel
Loc: Milan, Italy
jjwright71 wrote:
first ya gots to have someone complain and file on yA,har!
Unfortunately here in Italy this is how it works. If you soot someone that comes in your house to rob or kill or rape, you are in jail for murder :shock:
Wish the good old days came back.
Jul 9, 2013 06:25:14 #
Same in the UK.If I hit a burglar with my golf club ( 3 iron) I'll be charged with assault.
Jul 9, 2013 06:34:23 #
elandel
Loc: Milan, Italy
viscountdriver wrote:
Same in the UK.If I hit a burglar with my golf club ( 3 iron) I'll be charged with assault.
Its crazy how nowadays burglars are protected an honest are charged
Jul 9, 2013 06:42:35 #
Jul 9, 2013 06:47:47 #
elandel wrote:
Unfortunately here in Italy this is how it works. If you soot someone that comes in your house to rob or kill or rape, you are in jail for murder :shock:
Wish the good old days came back.
Wish the good old days came back.
COme to Oklahoma...we have a MAKE MY DAY law..just be sure he/she is in the house when you blow his shit away...
Jul 9, 2013 07:18:37 #
elandel
Loc: Milan, Italy
wilpharm wrote:
COme to Oklahoma...we have a MAKE MY DAY law..just be sure he/she is in the house when you blow his shit away...
Thats how it should be.
Jul 9, 2013 07:33:06 #
viscountdriver wrote:
For golfers, should I have used a four iron?
Just don't use your one iron. Apparently even God can't hit a one iron.
Jul 9, 2013 07:34:25 #
what if you hit them with a wedge (less distance = less damage)
viscountdriver wrote:
Same in the UK.If I hit a burglar with my golf club ( 3 iron) I'll be charged with assault.
Jul 9, 2013 07:39:44 #
I like this one, too! Hilarious but effective........:thumbup:
How to stop a terrorist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ABH7eFEdWA
How to stop a terrorist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ABH7eFEdWA
Jul 9, 2013 08:07:47 #
elandel wrote:
Unfortunately here in Italy this is how it works. If you soot someone that comes in your house to rob or kill or rape, you are in jail for murder :shock:
Wish the good old days came back.
Wish the good old days came back.
You need to get organized and take your country back.That's disgusting.
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