If a female donkey is an ass,

And a male sheep is a Ram,

Why is a Ram in the Ass a Goose?

I volunteer at the local Shriner Club on Bingo night. Also I volunteer at a youth wood boat building program. We assist teenagers to build wood boats. We furnish the materials, and assist them. When the boat is finished, they get to keep the boat.

As a side benefit, I have access to a well equipped woodworking shop.

Packages may be the thing that saves the USPS.

One of these clocks will solve the problem.

Being creative.....

Just having a little fun.

Tom Hanks survived 4 years on an island as a castaway 🏝
He spent a year in an airport without being able to leave 🛫
Caught AIDS in Philadelphia 💉
He was in World War II and rescued Private Ryan; He went to Vietnam and rescued Lieutenant Dan 🔫
Was on a boat kidnapped by Somali pirates 🚢
Survived Apollo 13 trying to reach the Moon 🚀
Landed a Boeing on the Hudson River✈️
If that son of a bitch dies of coronavirus 👑🦠, we are ALL screwed!!! 😊

I grew up in Oklahoma, where tornados are a common occurrence. I live in Florida now. We get clear warnings when a hurricane is on its way. I have a friend, who lives in California, who told me that he would not live in Florida because of the hurricanes. I told him that we get plenty of warning when a hurricane is coming. And we have hurricane parties while waiting for them. Do you have earthquake parties in California?

They say that you are getting old when your new car costs more than your first house.

Good To Know They’re Protected By Camouflage Uniforms In Space

I have played the bagpipes at many funerals. The Irish and Scots love to have the pipes played at their wedding and funerals. The only difference between the two is that there is one less drunk. I played at a funeral once where they passed out shots of Jamesons to everyone. then they launched a bunch of helium filled balloons while I played 'The Wearin' of the Green'. Then they passed out the shots of Jamesons again and opened up a box of butterflies while I played 'When Irish Eyes are Smiling'. I told the daughter of the deceased that they sure put that Irishman away in style.

Who says the Irish can't have a little fun at a funeral.


https://youtu.be/b8d6RyLyvEI

I play that song on my bagpipes.

I moved to Chicago in 1965, from Oklahoma. I first thought that I moved to the armpit of the world. After I got to know my way around, I started to get to like Chicago. I married a Chicago girl, and she did not want to ever leave the area. Chicago has everything you could ask for. college sports, professional sports, a world class symphony orchestra, a world class opera company, great museums, great restaurants, the best deep dish pizza in the USA, and still has a home town atmosphere. I did not mind the snow in Chicago, but I hated driving in it. I really got to love that City. My wife passed away 5 years ago, and I decide to move to Florida four years ago. I don't have to drive in snow any more. And I am finally getting use to the heat. But I really miss da Bears, and the White Sox.