Posts for: Terrymac
Jan 17, 2013 09:34:00 #
Hi , I have just purchased Elements 11 I've not opened the box yet. I have just seen another post that Rick Sammon is doing a (free) 17 hour course in Lightroom. I could not find the free one but I do not mind paying the reduced price of $25 for the course. My question is what is the difference between Lightroom & Elements 11. Thank you in advance Terry.
Jan 16, 2013 12:51:20 #
Sorry didn't notice just forwarding on an email.
quote=JR1]Please can you STOP using capitals[/quote]
quote=JR1]Please can you STOP using capitals[/quote]
Jan 16, 2013 12:43:06 #
On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, Ex. Prime Minister of the UK ,
addressed a major gathering of Native Americans.
He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for a CarbonTrading Tax for the UK and Europe
At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque
inscribed with his new Native American name - Walking Eagle.
A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..
A news reporter later asked one of the Native Americans how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly.
addressed a major gathering of Native Americans.
He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for a CarbonTrading Tax for the UK and Europe
At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque
inscribed with his new Native American name - Walking Eagle.
A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..
A news reporter later asked one of the Native Americans how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly.
Jan 16, 2013 12:32:12 #
HERE IS AN ACTUAL SIGN POSTED AT A GOLF CLUB IN SCOTLAND UK:
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN AN OFFICE:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN A LAUNDROMAT:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN AN OFFICE:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN AN OFFICE:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES,
WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE
ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOTICE IN HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE CENTRE:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOTICE IN A FARMER'S FIELD:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD
FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.
PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR,
THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ENJOY YOUR DAY - KEEP ON SMILING
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN AN OFFICE:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN A LAUNDROMAT:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN AN OFFICE:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
IN AN OFFICE:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES,
WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE
ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOTICE IN HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE CENTRE:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOTICE IN A FARMER'S FIELD:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD
FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.
PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR,
THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ENJOY YOUR DAY - KEEP ON SMILING
Jan 16, 2013 06:03:09 #
> *There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
>trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it
>down in one swig.
> "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst
>into tears.
> "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t
>stand to see a man crying."
> "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I
>was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking
>lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I
>left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another
>man and then my dog bit me."
> "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all,
>I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison
>dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough
>about me, how's your day
> going?"*
>trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it
>down in one swig.
> "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst
>into tears.
> "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t
>stand to see a man crying."
> "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I
>was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking
>lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I
>left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another
>man and then my dog bit me."
> "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all,
>I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison
>dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough
>about me, how's your day
> going?"*
Jan 16, 2013 05:59:33 #
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.
Could we please do it one more time?'
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, 'Honey, please... just one more time before I die.'
She says, 'Of course, Dear,' and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...'
At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough. I have to get up in the morning... you don't.
About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.
Could we please do it one more time?'
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, 'Honey, please... just one more time before I die.'
She says, 'Of course, Dear,' and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...'
At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough. I have to get up in the morning... you don't.
Jan 14, 2013 17:20:44 #
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf
When she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return
To the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro, seeing her come into the clubhouse, said
'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'
'I was stung by a bee', she said.
'Where', he asked.
'Between the first and second hole', she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said,
'Then your feet are too far apart.'
She had just started playing her first round of golf
When she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return
To the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro, seeing her come into the clubhouse, said
'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'
'I was stung by a bee', she said.
'Where', he asked.
'Between the first and second hole', she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said,
'Then your feet are too far apart.'
Jan 14, 2013 10:33:05 #
Yesterday I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and a keen golfer, who lived in a house adjacent to the golf course, heard the noise and called out,
"Are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine thanks," I replied.
"Just forget your troubles. Come to my house, rest a while and I'll help you get the buggy up later," she
said, smiling.
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty and persuasive.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife wont like it."
After a restorative brandy and lessons, on her private driving range and putting green, I thanked my hostess. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the buggy!" I replied
Elizabeth, a very attractive and a keen golfer, who lived in a house adjacent to the golf course, heard the noise and called out,
"Are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine thanks," I replied.
"Just forget your troubles. Come to my house, rest a while and I'll help you get the buggy up later," she
said, smiling.
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty and persuasive.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife wont like it."
After a restorative brandy and lessons, on her private driving range and putting green, I thanked my hostess. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the buggy!" I replied
Jan 12, 2013 10:49:52 #
jerryc41 wrote:
There is a thread going about covering the eyepiec... (show quote)
Jan 11, 2013 05:29:38 #
Now out in paperback!!
The book "Understanding Women" has finally arrived in stores:
The book "Understanding Women" has finally arrived in stores:
Jan 10, 2013 17:09:21 #
Yes Sir you have it one.
Danilo wrote:
quote=farmerjim quote=Bmac quote=farmerjim AArg... (show quote)
Jan 10, 2013 10:15:30 #
THIS explains everything !!!
Pythagoras' theorem - 24 words.
Lord's Prayer - 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle - 67 words.
10 Commandments - 179 words.
Gettysburg address - 286 words.
US Declaration of Independence - 1,300 words.
US Constitution with all 27 Amendments - 7,818 words.
EU regulations on the sale of cabbage - 26,911 words
Pythagoras' theorem - 24 words.
Lord's Prayer - 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle - 67 words.
10 Commandments - 179 words.
Gettysburg address - 286 words.
US Declaration of Independence - 1,300 words.
US Constitution with all 27 Amendments - 7,818 words.
EU regulations on the sale of cabbage - 26,911 words
Jan 4, 2013 06:01:07 #
20 TOP ZEN TEACHINGS
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you pass wind.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you pass wind.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Jan 2, 2013 16:26:45 #
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.
She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.
She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
Jan 2, 2013 16:25:05 #
Teacher asks the kids in class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris , a jet to travel through Europe , an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson . . . . "
And you, Tanya?............................................
" I wanna be Johnny's bitch!"
Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris , a jet to travel through Europe , an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson . . . . "
And you, Tanya?............................................
" I wanna be Johnny's bitch!"