Terrymac Loc: LONDON U.K.

HERE IS AN ACTUAL SIGN POSTED AT A GOLF CLUB IN SCOTLAND UK:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF

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IN AN OFFICE:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

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IN A LAUNDROMAT:


AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:

PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES

WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
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IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:


BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
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IN AN OFFICE:


WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
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IN AN OFFICE:


AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT

AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
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OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP:


WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES,

WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE

ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
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NOTICE IN HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW:


CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
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SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK:


ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
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SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE CENTRE:


FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,

THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
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NOTICE IN A FARMER'S FIELD:


THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD

FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
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ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR:


WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.

PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR,

THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ENJOY YOUR DAY - KEEP ON SMILING

JR1 Loc: Tavistock, Devon, UK

Please can you STOP using capitals

Terrymac Loc: LONDON U.K.

Sorry didn't notice just forwarding on an email.
quote=JR1]Please can you STOP using capitals[/quote]