We have a blocked lane up ahead on a local street and my right lane was wide open when I saw a lady rapidly go left and zooming up to the front of the line on the left lane.at that moment the red light came on and she was next to me and tried to cut me off but I didn't let her.she opened her window and says?" a little curtesy." I told her," that she almost cause an accident and she didn't even use her turn signal to let me know she was trying to merge into my lane so no you can't get into my lane."

Here's mime.hope you like it.two guys drinking water at the water fountain Monday morning. Bob asks John why he couldn't make it to the lake this past weekend. John tell him he had to take the wife out shopping all over town.bob tell him that they went boating, swimming, fishing,skiing,bar b queuing, drinking , they even had wild sex but not to worry cause next week it was going to get better.john asks how.bob say," the women are showing up."

I get mine at sam's for around $15 each.wipers now a days last about 1 year if you are lucy.back in the day they would last 4 or 5 years.i used to by triple edge wiper blades.they had 3 edges.going one waty 2 of the 3 would wipe the glass and coming back the center edge and the other edge would wipe the glass and they were cheap, great and lasted for ever but I thing someone bought them off and stopped production cause every one was loosing business.

How do you turn a fox into a cow?. Marry her.

My wife cooked for me for 40 years.i told her I would be the cook after I retired.in 2013 i retired and I am the sole cook at our home.we will hit 48 years come September 11 and I don't know what I would do if she was gone.i was hospitalized 4 weeks ago due to a lower bowel obstruction and she was there for me.i lost 16 pounds but I am now eating a lot better and have gained 2 pounds.

I hope you don't have a waterbed.

I am not very religious but when one of my wife's uncle past away my mother in law asked me if I could make 2 15pound briskets.i figured my wife's uncle had a tiny house and chances are that would feed the few people that would show up after the funneral.after the burial the funeral home director thanked everyone for showing up and told everyone that they were all invited to the church hall.that's when I knew I should have made 4 or 5 briskets.we had my 2 briskets, rice, beans, potatoes salad, corn , green beans, 20 peices of chicken, and 2 dozen tamales.we fed over 140 people.i was able to get the last small peice of brisket with all the trimmings and the wife decided that after smelling it all night long she preferred a hamburger.

I have lots more but they will kick me off .

Reminds me of farmer brown.he was helping one of his cow with the birth of a calf so he asked little Johnny for help since he was in his 70s and needed the help.after the birth farmer brown told little Johnny that since he knew everything there was to know that if he had any question at any time just come and ask .little Johnny thought for a minute then asked," I just want to know how fast that calf was going when he hit that cow ass?"

Speaking of prevegan.is it better than neuriva.

Never place anything uncovered in a microwave even if just a paper towel.if you ever need a great toaster type over I will recommend the ninja foodie.the one that flip upward to give you more counter space.we use ours dayly and have been using it since they were first introduced it about 5 years ago without a proplem.

That one makes a little sense but my Co worker had a tattoo of a small rooster bellow the knee and would tell the waitress at a new place that he had a cock below the knee and if he would show it to her she would have to pay for his beer.she would always agree to see that thing below the knee.they would give him the free beer and he would always tip them but he would ask them to send more waitresses his way.

It's those turns under the sheets that makes our hair fall off.

I made a good career out of it.i installed them back in the day when we only had copper wiring.did that for 34 years out of my 40 year career.i also repaired lines when we had big rain storms.i actually volunteered to go to the hurricane ike restoration in the Houston area for about 7 weeks.

I believe all women should look good by wearing nice clothing and some makeup but not too much.i once went to install a phone for a lady probably in her mid 20s about 35 years ago.i knocked on her door about 8:30 in the morning and she came to the door in a robe .I identified myself and told her I would be back in a little bit.i came back about 30 minutes later and a gorgeous lady came to the door so I told her to tell the other lady to check her phone to see if it worked.she immediately asked ," what other lady? That's when I realized this was the same lady but she was now wearing a nice dress and had all her makeup and not a hair out of place.i immediately told her I was also working down the street with another lady's telephone service and could she please check her phone.she did and it worked.she picks up her purse and proceded to get in her car.i got in my truck and drove ahead of her down the blocking parked as if I was working there too.as soon as she got to the corner and turn I proceeded to my next job. That was a close one.