I appreciate the last one concerning H&S neglect. Isn't it one of the definitions of insanity "to repeat the same actions time and again whilst expecting a different outcome"?

You are assuming that they would understand the meaning of "similar". One young man commented on the "old fashioned words" that I use in my conversation that "no one uses anymore" and that he had never heard of before. After I assured him that I wasn't making them up myself and that I still believed that I was more than a nobody; I asked him why when he was fortunate to be born with direct access to the richest language on Earth with a vast palette of meaning, colour and nuance he insisted upon using the equivalent of a pre-school paintbox of primary colour? I'm still awaiting an intelligible answer.

That explains why the taxi driver in India couldn't understand what hospital my wife was asking for after I had fallen on a wet bathroom floor and been whisked away!

Lately I have encountered a problem with serial numbers on products that I've purchased when attempting to register them for warranty/guarantee. If the manufacturer make and sell a range of similar items that vary not so much by appearance but by performance or capacity they seem to use very similar serial numbers. Often the numbers are more than 10 digits long and may start with a group of letters, include a hyphen, forward stroke and other non-alphanumeric symbol. On accessing the online website for registering the product there will usually be an entry box into which I've very carefully entered the serial number (usually printed in the tiniest size and poorly contrasting colour) read by magnifying glass. The first attempt is rejected without any indication why; but deleting what you have entered. Assuming that my entry contained an error all the number is re-entered but with the same result. After many trials it emerges that only part of the printed serial number is required but it takes lots of time to arrive at what they deem acceptable. It seems that they throw up a barrier to prevent the customer actually registering.

CANDORVILLE speculation on the past, future and present amused me - similar to the speculation that if you were able to build a vehicle that could travel at the speed of light would there be any point in adding headlights! Or even a windscreen, for that matter, would your reactions be fast enough to avoid anything that you were heading into?

The car manufacturers here in Europe are still affected by the backlogs caused by Covid and the difficulty in supply of microchips and batteries from the Far East. My neighbour has had a new Land Rover on order for 12 months now and has only just been informed that his vehicle is due this month. It is obvious that there isn't a stock of batteries held for replacements within warranty either. The shortage of new cars has a knock on effect in the secondhand car market too, the delays in delivering new cars are increasing demand and therefore costs. In February I had to replace my elderly diesel vehicle and was shocked at the limited number of available used cars and their prices. I am in no way an apologist for the car manufacturers they have been delinquent in their policies and activities. The situation concerning the universal replacement of internal combustion vehicles with EV's is the result of poor planning and political pressure. Having declared that EV's are to be fully introduced by 2030 the British goverment have run away from the need to invest the proposed "largest battery plant in the UK" so that the developers have declared bankrupcy. The project has now fallen into the hands of an Australian company with no definite possibility of construction and productivity at the required capacity. I can't see how the whole EV problem is going to be solved in time and foresee that come 2030 "the can will be kicked further down the road". Best of luck with obtaining the necessary battery for your Nissan Leaf in the future.

Spike Milligan's genius lay in has ability to turn everyday phrases and situations into jokes that no one previously had perceived. My favourite gag from the Goons was between Bluebottle and Eccles where the latter finds himself locked in a room:
Bluebottle from the other side of the door "Why don't you try turning the knob on your side?"
Eccles replies thoughtfully "Der, I haven't got a knob on my side!".

My pet hate are those videos that declare that "it is a brilliant way to use scrap material" without mentioning what it actually is. If you make the mistake of starting the video you are treated to 10 minutes or more of something useless being made in the least imaginative way. Guaranteed to make you feel that your life is being stolen from you.

At least he isn't at the front pushing the vehicle backwards like some people I've worked with would be doing.

For those afraid of flying I repeat something that I read recently: "If you have arrived safely by road at the airport then you have completed the most dangerous part of your journey".

The company I worked for received a letter from a resident who had purchased a house designed in timberframe by us. He wanted toknow if the bedroom floor joists could support a waterbed that he was interested in buying. It was the only enquiry that we received from a member of the public asking a very sensible question of loading capability in the 12 years I was there. The CEO was very impressed with the intelligence of the resident but a bit taken aback when I suggested that there must be far more people just installing stuff without a second thought. Those residents fitting marble worktops and bathroom panels didn't seem to think that all that fancy stuff was too expensive did they? They were busily "papering over the cracks" rather than dealing with priorities. Here in the UK we have the same mentality in our neighbours that are happily renovating the interiors of cottages over 150 years old but ignoring the roofs that are close to collapse. I think that they should take some responsibility for their poor decisions rather than be compensated by funds and insurances paid for by the rest of us who are more careful.

The intentional feeding of false plans to an enemy strategy wasn't a new concept but the degree, extent and attention to detail was probably unsurpassed in Operation Mincemeat. Ian Fleming, author of the James Bond novels, was a major player in the Royal Navy Intelligence service and is represented in the film. No detail was too small and as an example the "body" carried several personal letters, one of which was from the father written on headed notepaper from a hotel in the Welsh borders. Since the information became public the hotel register has been checked and the correct name was entered for the corresponding date when the letter was posted during the war just in case the Germans were capable of checking. It isn't always brute force that wins wars.

Another saying that my father used to repeat was "if you think education is expensive just consider the cost of ignorance".

We need him badly to teach most people today. My father told me "never to worry about what other people might think - because most of them can't". I thought it a very arrogant statement at the time but experience has since taught me that it is largely true. At least if they can think too often they don't and just follow the general trend that the majority are adopting.

That still didn't help the Irishman who put a choc-ice in a thermos and then topped it up with hot coffee after he had been told that they kept hot things hot and cold things cold!