None for me. I live in a gated community with a bunch of old geezers. There are only a few small children living here. I guess their parents didn't bother taking them out for Halloween.

This kid will not ever be able to run for any public office, or be a member of the SCOTUS.

Told my cat not to sit on the keyboard..

I would go the extra mile to give me the burial I deserve..

No sense in throwing away perfectly good pair of shoes.

Go ahead

Go ahead

First day of school vs second day of school.

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything
is wonderful; but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two
out, and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
They're a real pain."

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc
she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced."

"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured
that you needed three, only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed; and God, once again, visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram, and the
cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a
mate, and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see.....where did I put that useless boob?"

Now doesn't that make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

Wife: "€œNot in the house!"€

Speed Checked By Radar!

The last time Alabama played Oklahoma, in the Sugar Bowl and was highly favored too, OU kicked their butts all over the field.

This car came into the shop today.

This stop sign in my town.

Remember, Don't worry about old age....it doesn't last long.