Sent to me by one of my buddies out west. Supposed to be true, if it is, tis a bit hard to believe. Checked it on Snopes but could not find anything to say it taint so. It was shown as coming from a Newspaper in Yorkshire, England. (Only the english could do something like this)
LittleRed (Ron)

Buttock Tattoo Terror Lands Rotherham Pair In Hospital  
 
A row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment.

Furious film fan and part-time plus-size model Tracey Munter (23), had visited the Ink It Good Tattoo Emporium on Wellgate last week to have the finishing touches applied to a double buttock representation of the chariot race scene from the iconic 1959 film, Ben Hur.
 
Tattooist Jason Burns takes up the story.

“It was a big job in more ways than one.”   he told us “I’d just lit a roll-up and was finishing off a centurions helmet. It’s delicate, close up work. Next thing is, I sense a slight ripple in the buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston’s whip, and a hissing sound – more of a whoosh than a rasp – and before I know what’s happening, there’s a flame shooting from her arse to my fag and my beards gone up like an Aussie bush fire.”

Jason says he rushed to the studio sink to quell the flames, only to turn round and see Tracey frantically fanning her buttock area with a damp towel. The flames had travelled down the gas cloud and set fire to her thong which was smoking like a cheap firework.

“To be honest”,   said Jason, “I didn’t even realise she was wearing one. You’d need a sodding mining licence and a torch to find out for sure. She could have had a complete wardrobe in there and I’d have been none the wiser.”

Jason and Tracey were taken to Rotherham District Hospital accident and emergency department where they were treated for minor burns and shock. Both are adamant that the other is to blame.

“I’m furious”   said Jason, “I’ve got a face like a mange-ridden dog and my left eyebrow’s not there any more. I don’t know about Ben Hur – Gone With The Wind’s more like it. You don’t just let rip in someone’s face like that. It’s dangerous.”

But Tracey remains both angry and unrepentant;

“I’m still in agony,”   she said, “and Charlton Heston looks more like Sidney bloody Poitier now. Jason shouldn’t have had a fag on the go and there’s no way I’d guff on purpose. He’d had me on all fours for nearly an hour I can only put up with that for so long before nature takes its course. My Kev knows that I give him my five-second warning and I’d have done the same for Jason, but I didn’t get chance – it just crept out.”

Ted Walters from the South Yorkshire Fire and Rescue service wasn’t surprised when we told him what had happened  “People just don’t appreciate the dangers.“   he told us,  “We get called out to more flatulence ignition incidents than kitchen fires these days now people have moved over to oven chips. We have a slogan ‘Flame ‘n fart – keep ’em apart’ Anyone engaging in an arse-inking scenario would do well to bear that in mind in future.”

Come'on dpfoto, don't rub it in. If it twasnt for some medical reasons I would be at this exact moment touring the roads of the Viera Wetlands near Melbourne taking a few ( thousand ) pics of da birds. Ah, hopefully next year.

Yes Jerry, starting this morn, and also for the next 4 days at least, according to our local forecasters.

Ah, yes, I realize others will have it much worse than I, but after clearing out the end of my driveway (dang plows ) at least twice a day, every day, for the past week you kinda get a bit sick of the white stuff. Used to be a skier etc in my younger days, but as an "old fart" now I mostly hunker down with a good book when the snow flies, waiting for the sun to peek out so I can unleash my camera.😬
Have a good day Robert

( by the way, 'tis snowing again 😝 )

I just have to get this off my chest, been playing on my mind for the last week or so. As you all know, the past February 2 was the famously world recognized Groundhog Day. This is when a bunch of furry rodents stick their heads out of their burrows and graciously inform us common folk of when we will finally get rid of this white junk. We wait with abated breath to hear the good news that IT is finally coming to an end. This year it appears that our furry critters north of the 49th are very optimistic in the fact that they predict an early spring. Both Wiarton Willie and Shubenacadie Sam when the ventured out did NOT see their shadows and have indicated the spring is well on its way. But alas, that furry so-called chubby forecaster hailing out of Pennsylvania, U.S of A threw a monkey wrench into the system. Good old Punxsutawney Phil had to come out of his warm, comfortable den and inform the world he DID see his shadow which according to him means 7 more weeks of long johns and shovels. He needed not to do this, he could have at least pretended to not see the shadow and give us a little white one instead, but NO, he had to deliver more white stuff from above instead. Once this news was broadcasted to us up north it started to snow. For the last 9 days every day has been a white-out. Snow and more snow, at the average of about 8 to 12 inches each and every day. And according to us, it is all good old Phils fault. If only he had kept his mouth shut. Finally today, the 11th we have seen a bit of the sun, but sadly we are expecting about another half a foot tomorrow, with more each and every day from then on.
I have attached 2 pics to illustrate exactly what YOUR rodent has done to us. The first is the view out of our front window. You can (pretend) to see our car just to the left of the window. And yes, that is a drift, almost touching our soffit. And after getting what is forcast for the next week it probably will. The second is of our backyard taken from the upstairs. That dome of snow in the back is (was) our birdbath, which I cleaned off a copla days ago. Presently I have a total of 44 inches of it on my back lawn, bout 1/3 of the 150 inches we have accumulated so far this year.
So you can see why we have some unkind thoughts of the rascally rodent that belongs to youse south of the 49th. Best keep him down there and away from the border as I heard that roast Groundhog is mighty tasty.
Excuse the poor pics, were taken through window with an Ipad.

Take care and have a terrific photoing year

LittleRed (Ron)

View through our front window.

By the look of it, you have received some excellent ideas as to your query. Possibly most of my comments will be repeats, but here are my thoughts.
I have been photographing birds for many years. I used to, like you use a blind, but found that it was a bit cumbersome and when in your own yard, usually not necessary. Sometimes it is necessary when attempting to catch a special bird in a special place one has to resort to this method. But, in your own yard, you don't usually need it. The trick is to get the bird used to your presence. This will take a bit of time and a bit of patience on your part. Personally I just set my lawn chair on my deck about 4 to 5 metres away from my designated picture feeders and wait. After awhile the birds become accustomed to my presence and return to their birdy ways. If you do move, slowly and smoothly always. Like I said, PATIENCE 😬. This method works real well with your local yard birds and I have found even does quite well with the migrants moving through both spring and fall. I guess they are assured of some safety due to your locals being comfortable with you being nearby. When birds are feeding that is basically all they seem to think about and if they are used to your presence, they tend to totally ignore you. Anybody whom have birded in either Florida (Circle B Bar Reserve) or Texas (High Island Area) for example can bear that out, as the birds are so used to the presence of humans you sometimes have shoo them out of the way in order to get by them. At my own yard this spring I had 7 Pileated Woodpeckers feeding daily at my feeders and they became so used to me I could approach to within a metre. But it took me a copla weeks to get to that position.
Secondly, set up you photo area so that you can obtain the best possible pics with minimal work. As said previously the use of a natural looking perch in the vicinity of your feeding stations is a excellent suggestion. This is one of the methods I use with great success. However, I usually doctor one of these small trees thusly. I trim almost all the branches except for one larger horizontal one. This will force the birds to choose that one to perch on, and they usually tend to pick the area near the main trunk. I then can pre-focus on this area and by using a remote snap a pic when the bird lands (camera of course on tripod). Lazy way of doing it 😜, but that way you can watch the birds comfortably and enjoy a cup of tea.
Thirdly, entice them with the right type of seed, both in quality and for the types of birds you have in your area. A lot of the cheaper seed mixes are made up a lt of useless "fillers" such as wheat, milo and cracked corn. Unless your interested in attracting birds such as Rock Doves (Pigeons) this type of seed for the most part is of little value. Try to use quality seed/feed that the birds really like (niger for the finches, safflower for the cardinals, suet for the woodpeckers, oranges for the orioles and mealworms for the bluebirds are some examples).
Like I have said and others have before me, I don't think that the pointing of lens at the bird is that much of a problem if you patiently become a part of the birds world. I again stress, have patience and persevere, and you should have minimal problems and get some truly amazing pics (that we expect to see posted here in the future)
Best of luck.

LittleRed (Ron)

Golly Gee, eat Niger seed (thistle seed). Can't do that here up north. Can't afford that 😜. A 50lb bag this year at Tractor Supply ( the cheapest place for birdseed ) is selling for $110. In a good year I usually go through at least 2 bags!!! Thank goodness so far this year hasn't been one of those "good" years as a lot of the finches ( Redpolls and Siskins ) have not moved south due to an excellent spruce cone crop in the northern boreal forest. Just have to contend with my local flock of about 50 Goldie's. So far they've only used up about a half a bag. 😬😮😬😮
By the way, excellent pics of a bunch of my backyard buddies. Keep up the good work.

LittleRed ( Ron )

Doesn't appear that this birds eyes are red/pink, but hard to really tell from the pics. If the birds eyes are normally colored then he is not an albino, but in fact is leucistic. Albino birds lack the natural pigment known as melanin which controls the coloring. This bird ( because of its eye color ) would be able to produce the pigment but would not be able to deposit in its feathers. I recently had an male American Goldfinch visiting my feeding station with the same problem.

Ron

First post didnt happen for some reason, so will try again

Great catch of a difficult shot. Looks like he wasn't 2 far behind the one he was chasing. Your timing on this capture was right on. The one big problem with catching these birds "walking on water" is that they are totally unpredictable, taking off whenever they feel like usually with no warning. Takes time and patience to catch the action shown in your pic. Congratulations on a job well done.

LittleRed (Ron)

Very nicely done on a bird whom does not pose too often, always on the move, flitting from branch to branch. But as you probably already know, photgraphing birds, although a pleasure to us birders, is sometimes quite frustrating. Usually they are very flighty and tend to depart without any reason just before your finger hits the button. But I have learnt over the years that you must learn to observe the birds habits and then you can usually predict what they will do next. That way you are (hopefully sometimes) prepared to catch a fair to middling pic of them. Also, you have to have three items at your disposal. The first is something that is your responsibility, and that is patience. For example, patience in waiting motionless for fairly long periods of time in order for the bird to get used of your presence and to resume acting naturally. The second is just good old fashioned luck, to be at the right place at the right time with the proper settings on your camera. This you have very little control of, that is the job for the "Big Boy" upstairs. Lastly, take many many pics. Tis nice that we have digital. Twas a totally different story when I started years ago with film. So, keep on shooting as the pic you have posted shows that you do have the ability to catch the birds quite nicely. For your perusal I've included a few of many pics I took of the American Avocet this past winter. Hope you enjoy thme. Best of luck in the future and to you a very Merry Christmas and a helluva 2017.
(Note : all pics were taken either on the Bolivar Peninsula or Sea Rim State Park in North-east Texas using a Canon T3i with a 300mm F4 Lens. All shots were done in Jpg {dont do raw} and processed using an old Olympus Imaging Software, that came with the first digital camera {3mp} I owned many moons ago)

Little Red (Ron)

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A young ventriloquist was touring and one night was doing a show in a small Newfoundland town.

With the dummy on his knee, he went thru his usual dumb blond jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stood up on her chair and started shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and the community, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humour!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist began to apologize, but the blonde continued, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee."

(P.S. - for those whom don't really like blond jokes, replace that word with "redhead", I won't mind!)

Thanks for taking a peek at my pics, tis appreciated. As for my resideation, tis in Northern Ontario Canada and the temperature will fall to minus 40 degrees Celsius up here. However, for youse southerners information, this is the only temperature number where Celcius and Fahrenheit are the same (minus 40F = minus 40C). Tis quite coolish up here in January and February, one reason I try to do my birding down south, usually in the Rio Grande Valley in Texas or in the southern state of Florida.

Ron

Tis a pleasure on sharing some of my pics with my fella Hoggers. Thanks for looking and commenting.

Ron

Thank you Photo Girl for the kind words.

Ron