SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW.

'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER!'

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in CAMPBELTOWN, SCOTLAND.

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.

However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.

After all, it is ONLY A SIGN.

You may say 'What kind of business would dare to post such a sign?'

Answer:

A FUNERAL PARLOUR.

(WHO SAID SCOTTISH UNDERTAKERS HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR?)

YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!!!

= God Bless Scotland =]

Cheers and Beers
Graham/098\

When I went to church last week I heard a sweet elderly lady in the pew next
to me saying a prayer. It was so innocent and sincere that I just have to
share it with you:

"Dear Lord, This sure has been a tough four to five years.
You have taken my favourite actor Patrick Swayze,
my favourite musician Michael Jackson,
my favourite Blues Singer Amy Winehouse,
my favourite actress Elizabeth Taylor,
my favourite singer Whitney Houston,
my favourite author Tom Clancy,
and now my favourite comedian Robin Williams !

I just wanted you to know that my favourite politicians are
Rachael Notley, Mike Duffy, Pamela Wallrin, Rob Ford,
and that Trudeau kid."

Went out to the local boat launching ramp tonight to see if I could catch any good sunset images. No joy there, so I looked down instead of up. These are images of ice forming due to wave action on a curb on one side of the boat launching ramp. I tried to capture how raw/cold it was (10F with a "zero" windchill). It was interesting to see how the ice built up differently on the windward and leeward sides of the curb. Constructive C&C welcome. (Nikon D5300 w/ 35mm f1.8)

Best in download.

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.



He is at the Pearly Gates. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


The gatekeeper said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it
before you can get into Heaven.'


Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.'

The gatekeeper continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First:
What two days of the week begin, with the letter T?


Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?


Third:
What is God's first name?

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.'

Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks,

That would be Today and Tomorrow.'

The gatekeeper's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?'

'How many seconds in a year?'

Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

Astounded, the gatekeeper said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?

Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:


January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...

'Hold it, interrupts the gatekeeper. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind... but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name'?

'Sure,' Forrest replied, it's Andy. '

'Andy?'

exclaimed the exasperated and frustrated gatekeeper. Ok, I can understand how you came up with the answers to my earlier questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the firstname of God?

You are going to love this …….



'Shucks,
that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. I learnt it from the song,



ANDY WALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'



The gate keeper opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run, Forrest, run".












Lord,

Give me a sense of humor,



Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,



To get some humor out of life.



And to pass it on.

Pretty much as the title suggests....."How do you afford it?"

And this isn't all about gear envy, it's time for a long overdo upgrade. I'm running a camera from 8+years ago, with a buttload of shutter accuations. Photo's are no longer crisp coming out of the camera, so I'm guessing 'junk' has moved inside and my images are a waste of time to take.....and looking at the value of this unit, it is not worth sending back to be re-furbed. The lenses are still good(I put them on a different body and they work great).


Not rich. Not even well off. I have two jobs, one is full time 40hrs/week, other is depending on weather and customers needing my services, but when I am doing this....35-45hrs/week added. Disposable income is low, and I'm trying to save for retirement too.
The camera I would like will use the lenses that I have already, but dang...$$$$.$$ price tag and I'd need a metabones too! And that is a used one with X,XXX shutter accusations!

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about eating peanut-butter sandwiches in order to save some cash to make the purchase....I just don't want to do it for three years.


Did you wait for that relative to die?
Did you win the lottery?
Do you have 'babes working the corner'?



So, tell me your secret plan....please?!?!




Scott (don't want to go to prison) B