1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking
the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical
mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 Lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 horsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
13. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
14. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
15. 1000 cc's of wet socks = 1 literhosen
16. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

Mark

In it's annual search of terms that might be offensive to SOMEBODY, Stanford University has determined that the term "American" might be offensive to those individuals who were not born here yet are U.S. Citizens. This could have some profound affects on our society and literature. For instance, Amerigo Vespuci would now be referred to as U.S. Citizen Vespucci, despite the fact that he was Italian. Lee Greenwood's song would now become "I'm proud to be a U.S. Citizen." American Indians would, ofc, be Native U.S. Citizens. We'd have the U.S.Citizen Flag, the U.S. Citizen Baseball League. I guess America the Beautiful would become United States the Beautiful. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Of course the movie The Ugly American would become The Ugly U.S.Citizen. Citizen Cane would not be affected, ofc.

Let's just hope Stanford's "suggestion" doesn't catch on and we can all remain Americans.

To tell you the truth, my Italian Grandparents were more than proud to say that they were Americans once they became citizens.