Five more cringey Jokes.......Graham

Five cringey Jokes.......Graham

C&BN G

Whales or Scotland ??.......Graham

Four more of the best from Australia, today.......Graham

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All clean Jokes or clean people in my jokes

C&B-G

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. She was not aware her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. When her husband came home unexpectedly, she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: “Dark in here.”
Man: “Yes it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball.”
Man: “That’s nice.”
Boy: “Want to buy it?”
Man: “No, thanks.”
Boy: “My dad’s outside.”
Man: “OK, how much?”
Boy: “$250.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: “Dark in here.”
Man: “Yes, it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball glove.”
Man: “That’s nice.”
Boy: “Want to buy it?”
Man: “No, thanks.”
Boy: “I’ll tell.”
Man: “How much?”
Boy: “$750.”
Man: “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!”
The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
The son says, “$1,000.”
The father says, “That’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”

I apologise again to the people who reported me to Admin for bad language. It was too late
to delete the terrible bad language in this joke........Graham (;-))

And a She at that wow!!!.........I love you name......

tramsey it had me in stitches, honestly I nearly choked laughing!! I'm pleased you felt like I did.

Ramsey...
Well, it was great while it lasted. When I was an apprentice compositor, in the printing trade, one of the, getting on in age, journeymen, once said to me "Youth is wasted on the young". At the time, I didn't know what he meant.
But by hell I know what he meant now. He was great bloke, one day we were talking about rich people.
I asked him if he was rich, he looked at me and said, "I am very rich and one day I may have a lot of money.
Again, at 15-17 years old I didn't understand what he meant. I do now. I left school in 1956 at 15 years old and served a six years apprenticeship.

Thanks for comments C&B-G

and me

I'm glad someone got it

You are a funny bugger, you never fail to make me laugh whoooooppps!!! Please don't report me for using the word "funny".??? Always Cheers and beers for you old chum....Graham....

Hello Uncle Steve


Nana's giving me my dinner


Showing my Granddad how to use my laptop he's hopeless


Me and my Granddads smart Phone

Glad you liked em Jay

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for million pounds, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds?"
The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds?"
"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million quid would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "So, did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million Pounds..............but Realistically, .........we're living with two sluts and a male gay.
C&B-G

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does she begins to gently caress his full beard.
Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
Actually, no," the man replied."
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says,
running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or towels in the ladies room."
C&B-G