I just finished a wedding consultation.

I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.

The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.

I have been shooting weddings for over 55 years and am still at it. My mainstay, business wise, is commercial and industrial photography and corporate portraiture but I never closed down my wedding department. I enjoy the work and still find it challenging, creative and lucrative. It certainly adds to he bottom line at the end of the year! One might say, I know the territory! I've trained my younger staff members and hopefully my daughter will take over that department next season and next Fall, I will walk down the aisle backward with camera in hand for the last time. Haven't had a weekend off in half a century! It's time!

First of all I gotta tell you, I absolutely detest the term "bridezilla"- it's mean spirited, derogatory and unkind. An importat aspect of professional wedding photography is your skill sets in dealing with nervous folks. Some folks can becom difficult but a little compassion can remedy many of theses situations. Sometimes it is self-consciousnesses, some brides simply don't like being photographed. Weddings are family affairs and they are accompanied with family issues that are oftentimes stressful and some of the brides are badly affected by the tension. You need to calm them down and convince them that you are on there side and that the photography is going to be an enjoyable part of their day. If you can't accomplish that because of a personality conflict or a an issue beyond logical conciliation and you still take on the assignment , you are walking into a hornet's nest. If there is a disagreement between the bride and groom, about the photography and you end up in the middle of it, it's a different kind of nest your are entering- a machine gun emplacement and a minefield of aggravation.

Another issue is the bride's taste and preconceptions as to what she expects in her wedding photographs. I am assuming that your work is of fine quality but if the bride misconstrues soft focus, diffusion, or romantic effects as being "out of focus" she has serious misconceptions that may be beyond resolution. Their are folks who think shadows on low key portrays are defects. I once encountered a groom who did not want any close up images because they "cut people in half and he couldn't see their feet and shoes in all the pictures.. Did you LISTEN to her objections. One of the most importat part of salesmanship is being able to LISTEN, address and resolve any objections and find out exactly what the potential client expects, wants and requires. The couple's attitude toward you will reflect in their expressions in the photographs, your sales and your potential for referral business. They need to like you and trust you!

I am pretty flexible and can offer some variation of style- romantic, candid, formal, more documentary but if I can't get "on the same page" with both the bride and the groom, I will gracefully decline the assignment. I don't want to show up at the wedding and torture people and need to fight for every shot. I can shoot a wedding in my sleep but to me, the most important part of the assignment is the planning stage. I explain everything I need to do and how I am going to do it. I tell them how much of their time, cooperation and participation I will need to do a great job for them. Then I make any necessary changes to accommodate their specific requests. A wedding is too long a gig to risk an unpleasant business relationship. There is the planing sessions, oftentimes an engagement shoot, maybe a rehearsal, the entire wedding- usually an entire day's work into the late evening or early morning hours, selections meetings, production and delivery and hopefully referral business and recommendations. The work extends way beyond the wedding day.

When the couples come in, I closely observe their reaction to the images on display, the albums and the slide shows. If they are not suitably impressed there might be some incompatibility as to style, approach or whatever. If there are aspects that the don't understand, my job is to educate them but I never pressure folks or argue with them- it's counterproductive. If I decline the job, it is not out of ego or ill feelings or that I am afraid of hard work or the odd difficult situation that may occur. I am doing it for the couple's benefit. I don't want to take their money for a service or product they simply don't like. I treat thes folks like my own family, children and grandchildren but perhaps some of them don't like me- it's possible!

Just last week a couple came in to see about there wedding photography. They both loved the work but the groom was not in love with the price. The bride picked up the sample wedding album and hugged it tightly close to her chest. In 55 years, I never got that reaction. The groom-to-be took one look at the smile on her face and wrote a check for the entire order. He said he did not want to worry about payment schedules.

Wherever these issues arise, here on the forum, there is always "sour grapes" and horror stories about wedding gigs and business that went south. I can understand all of that- there is no shame- not every photographer, even the most talented and creative ones are not cut out for this aspect of the profession.

I hope this helps!

I just finished a wedding consultation.

I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.

The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.

I just finished a wedding consultation.

I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.

The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.