Gene51 Loc: Yonkers, NY, now in LSD (LowerSlowerDelaware)

Run, Forrest, Run!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2-MCPa_3rU

The initial meeting is to let them size you up, but more importantly, let you size them up. If you get a whiff of trouble, follow your gut. Be professional and polite, but remain firm. Don't do it.

fotoman150

mwsilvers Loc: Central New Jersey

If she criticized your images of someone else's wedding, imagine what she will say about your images of her wedding. You have no contract so they may not hire you anyway if she was not thrilled with your work. Just tell her you are sorry but an unexpected conflict arose and you won't be available for the date she needs you after all. The conflict is of course you feelings about this client, but if she finds out you ended up doing a different wedding that day, that becomes the conflict. You have no contract. Do what ever you need to do. When getting out of this situation don't waste time explaining it, or defending you reasons. Less is more.

fotoman150

Yeah I think I’m going to say I think another photographer would be a better fit. I’d rather not lie about the date. I’ll just be honest.

One of the things I noticed was that she saw some romantic images that were soft focus and she just thought they were out of focus. She’s left brained and has trouble with anything that is artistic. Everything has to be spot on in her mind. He corrected her and told her it was soft focus. I don’t do soft focus much anymore. I get the idea that it’s out of style.

She didn’t want an album. She said she wants wall portraits. When I heard that I was like, cool, big bucks. Then I found out her idea of a wall portrait was an 8x 10.

mwsilvers Loc: Central New Jersey

While honesty is always best, what are you going to say to her when she asks you why another photographer would be a better fit? It opens yourself up to an unwanted conversation which can only lead to an argument. Its better to say something which is final, and will not force you to go in a direction where you will have to explain or defend yourself. So don't say you have a conflict, I understand how you feel about that. But, what about just saying, "I'm no longer available to do your wedding."? That is not a lie and you owe her no other explanation. If she asks why, simply say again, "As I said, I'm no longer available." Its none of her business why.

fotoman150

It’s something to think about. I was going to say that I didn’t think she was impressed by my work. What do you think about that?

mwsilvers Loc: Central New Jersey

Well, there a few things wrong with that. First, she may say, "I like your work", and then what do you do? You are kind of stuck. And, just because she says that doesn't mean she won't trash it later and/or refuse to pay. Second she may say, "I really think your work is poor" and proceeds to criticize it in detail. What do you say them?. Why would you want that? In any case the goal is to get rid of her as a potential client, not get into a conversation on her feelings about your work. It should be quick and close ended with no chance for an extended conversation.

Photocraig

I'm not a Pro Photographer, but I am a Pro Salesman. Most of the best decisions I've ever made were decisions to NOT engage. For reasons of fit, or personality or BOTH, success is always in the eyes of the customer.

If the bride is this way, just think what MOMZILLA is like.

Your calendar just suddenly filled up with an Out of Town prior client who MUST be accommodated, and therefore you're unavailable. Then go out of town. No conflicts there.

After imagining MOMZILLA imagine MT's experience--and think about trying to sell any follow up Prints, etc. OR, maybe even getting PAID!

After your first year in any business always trust your gut.
C

Haydon

I remember reading a wise statement that simply stated, "To be a successful professional photographer, one needs to realize, they will say NO more than the word YES."

fotoman150

Ok interesting but this is a second marriage and this couple is very mature in age so I doubt the Mom will come into the picture. But I get your point.

fotoman150

Hmm I like that.

E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

I have been shooting weddings for over 55 years and am still at it. My mainstay, business wise, is commercial and industrial photography and corporate portraiture but I never closed down my wedding department. I enjoy the work and still find it challenging, creative and lucrative. It certainly adds to he bottom line at the end of the year! One might say, I know the territory! I've trained my younger staff members and hopefully my daughter will take over that department next season and next Fall, I will walk down the aisle backward with camera in hand for the last time. Haven't had a weekend off in half a century! It's time!

First of all I gotta tell you, I absolutely detest the term "bridezilla"- it's mean spirited, derogatory and unkind. An importat aspect of professional wedding photography is your skill sets in dealing with nervous folks. Some folks can becom difficult but a little compassion can remedy many of theses situations. Sometimes it is self-consciousnesses, some brides simply don't like being photographed. Weddings are family affairs and they are accompanied with family issues that are oftentimes stressful and some of the brides are badly affected by the tension. You need to calm them down and convince them that you are on there side and that the photography is going to be an enjoyable part of their day. If you can't accomplish that because of a personality conflict or a an issue beyond logical conciliation and you still take on the assignment , you are walking into a hornet's nest. If there is a disagreement between the bride and groom, about the photography and you end up in the middle of it, it's a different kind of nest your are entering- a machine gun emplacement and a minefield of aggravation.

Another issue is the bride's taste and preconceptions as to what she expects in her wedding photographs. I am assuming that your work is of fine quality but if the bride misconstrues soft focus, diffusion, or romantic effects as being "out of focus" she has serious misconceptions that may be beyond resolution. Their are folks who think shadows on low key portrays are defects. I once encountered a groom who did not want any close up images because they "cut people in half and he couldn't see their feet and shoes in all the pictures.. Did you LISTEN to her objections. One of the most importat part of salesmanship is being able to LISTEN, address and resolve any objections and find out exactly what the potential client expects, wants and requires. The couple's attitude toward you will reflect in their expressions in the photographs, your sales and your potential for referral business. They need to like you and trust you!

I am pretty flexible and can offer some variation of style- romantic, candid, formal, more documentary but if I can't get "on the same page" with both the bride and the groom, I will gracefully decline the assignment. I don't want to show up at the wedding and torture people and need to fight for every shot. I can shoot a wedding in my sleep but to me, the most important part of the assignment is the planning stage. I explain everything I need to do and how I am going to do it. I tell them how much of their time, cooperation and participation I will need to do a great job for them. Then I make any necessary changes to accommodate their specific requests. A wedding is too long a gig to risk an unpleasant business relationship. There is the planing sessions, oftentimes an engagement shoot, maybe a rehearsal, the entire wedding- usually an entire day's work into the late evening or early morning hours, selections meetings, production and delivery and hopefully referral business and recommendations. The work extends way beyond the wedding day.

When the couples come in, I closely observe their reaction to the images on display, the albums and the slide shows. If they are not suitably impressed there might be some incompatibility as to style, approach or whatever. If there are aspects that the don't understand, my job is to educate them but I never pressure folks or argue with them- it's counterproductive. If I decline the job, it is not out of ego or ill feelings or that I am afraid of hard work or the odd difficult situation that may occur. I am doing it for the couple's benefit. I don't want to take their money for a service or product they simply don't like. I treat thes folks like my own family, children and grandchildren but perhaps some of them don't like me- it's possible!

Just last week a couple came in to see about there wedding photography. They both loved the work but the groom was not in love with the price. The bride picked up the sample wedding album and hugged it tightly close to her chest. In 55 years, I never got that reaction. The groom-to-be took one look at the smile on her face and wrote a check for the entire order. He said he did not want to worry about payment schedules.

Wherever these issues arise, here on the forum, there is always "sour grapes" and horror stories about wedding gigs and business that went south. I can understand all of that- there is no shame- not every photographer, even the most talented and creative ones are not cut out for this aspect of the profession.

I hope this helps!

woodfrog Loc: Tennessee

My standard answer to shooting weddings is: "I don't shoot weddings for 2 reasons, the bride and the bride's momma.

fotoman150

I told her I needed an hour and a half to do the pictures after the ceremony and I told her if you allow an hour and a half I will get 45 minutes because every wedding that I have ever done the schedule runs behind. They will always shave time off of the pictures so the limo can stay on schedule or they won’t go overtime in the venue.

Her reaction was with a very stern look and voice that her wedding was not going to run behind.

I don’t think she has realistic expectations about how things are going to go down and she’s not listening to the voice of experience.

burkphoto Loc: High Point, NC

Nice.