Roger Hicks Loc: Aquitaine

While I completely agree about wriggling out of it at all possible, these are not really very good analogies. Photography just isn't all that important.

From http://www.rogerandfrances.com/subscription/ps%20weddings.html

"This is not a guide to shooting weddings commercially. We have never done this, and we never want to. Rather, it's about shooting weddings for friends. This may either be because they're too young and broke to afford anything else (which accounted for the first two that Roger shot), or because they're very old friends and really, really want you to shoot their weddings: you would offend them more by refusing than you would by doing it on your terms."

and

"Lauren -- or Linda, as she was when Roger was in love with her in the 1960s -- was widowed in her 30s and when she remarried it was to an incredibly nice guy called Greg. It is always wonderful to see the happiness someone you love (and Roger still loves her, like a sister). Otherwise he wouldn't have shot the wedding. How can you reject a request from a beloved sister?"

You have to know you will be able to deliver the goods before you shoot anyone's wedding, or you'd be a complete fool to take it on, but for a competent amateur, it really should not be impossible. Remember, I'm not talking theory here: I've done it. Only five times in 35 years, it's true, and I hope never to have to do it again. But all five times, the couple were delighted. And all but one of the couples are still married.

Cheers,

R.

konica135 Loc: Ormond Beach, FL

Second to this.
First, it's your son's wedding. Enjoy it. When you're not actively engaged in the festivities, have your camera ready for the casual or informal shots the pros wouldn't think to shoot - special friends and family antics. Step in, but out of the way, when the formals are being taken. I did that and the results were a wonderful supplement to the pro shots.

dpullum Loc: Tampa Florida

It is an interesting observation that once the sheep head in one direction that the rest follow the chant.

Below is assuming a normal not highly formal wedding and that the couple are of the mod generation where the world is fast moving and candid. Also that in today's world that $$ are a factor.

If you are a capable photographer then hay,if it is an informal wedding why not do the shoot. I shot my daughter's wedding it was just the natural thing to do for a baby born with a camera in his hand. Multi cameras, several memory chips, a backup is needed. The wedding can be time-mapped so that while you are doing one area, your buddy photographer is doing another. List the needed shots, outside of church, weather, florist, pre-ceremony, entry, down the isle, minister waiting, the group gathered, ring, kiss, exit, rice, limo, reception hall, of course people at wedding and at reception (favorite was the woman sleeping in the third row!). At the reception, there are toasts, cake cutting, people eating, list the shots that are a must.

At the reception shoot a lot, different angles, use exposure bracket (if no flash is used), to prevent focus errors in rapid shooting used a fixed focus fixed at perhaps 15 feet, set aperture at f-8, and use a flash. Fixed focus (manual) prevents the shot of the couple blured and the wall 20 feet behind in sharp focus!! OUCH! These settings give you good depth of field and the flash stops motion. Encourage friends of the couple to take a lot of shots. There is nothing at all wrong with P&S cameras. Mod weddings are street shooting photo-journalistic, not classic formality of years gone by. Try not to take vertical shots, do horizontal it makes better slide-shows. The couple should take a lot of shots on the honeymoon.

All of these shots should be sorted and about 100 of the best compiled into a slide-show with their choice of music for particular sections. Use Power point to make slides dividing the sections and making text comments. PP allows one to use photos as the background and can be saved as JPEG. I like Ashampoo's slideshow, only about $20 and allows various formats for DVD, phone, email, etc...

If you do not want to do the shooting get several friends to do the job and just act as the director give them specific asignments to focus on. And or heaven sake, do not do the "I'm scared to death" and run around screaming with a pancake turner in your hand likes Buck's wife in Bonny and Clyde!!! You can do it with out the panic dramma you are expressing.. after all you raised this boy thru his teen years and if you survived that, then you are tough - right?! Modern wedding photography is not like the stiff ol days - it is a mod world and get with the program. You are a photographer or you would not be sniffing around in this forum like an Ugly Hedge Hog. Good luck and remain cool...

People, you who have commented thus far or will comment, assume the couple is concerned about $$$ and wants a economical photo shoot. Her son know that mom will be involved with a lot of the things leading up to the actual wedding and can take photos along the way... please give positive advice to help mom do the job either as photographer or director.. please do not add to her fear of success. Feel very free to modify what I suggested and/or add to it based on you experience (other than negatives).

nikondaddy Loc: Mayfield,Kentucky

A wedding is an event and if it is your son's think of it as a glorous day and every picture you take will reflect the joy happines of that day. You know how to take pcitures but remember you can,t anticipate any moment until you are in it nor can you agonized of photographing something you hve never even click a shutter or viewed through you finder. Now think of the day God will give you and praise him and reflect years later on that day and the wonderful gift of it He allowed you tocapture with your camera and the people it will bring joy to in your family and most of all bless you. Fear is doubt but perfect Faith cast it out.

369Kae Loc: Peru,IN

I shot my son's wedding last June BUT..I was not the hired photographer. I was part of the wedding(handed my camera off to my daughter) and once I sat down I continued to shoot. Now, that worked for me because I'm not a social butterfly so shooting kept me busy and I actually talked to more people because I was taking pictures. The young man hired to shoot the wedding and I had a great time setting up family photos. I went through my photos, picked my favorites and made a book for the kids. They loved it because it was personal and I wasn't under any stress to produce. All that said, please do what makes you most comfortable. Your children will understand no matter what your decision. After all, your the Mom and they love you!

carlreno2

Early on I shot weddings for family and friends and I found it was very easy to forget what you were there for and start enjoying the event socializing, etc. You miss many of the standard wedding shots and tend to have to be constantly called when something important is about to happen, the toast, first dance, parents dance and cutting the cake. So if you must shoot the wedding you need to concentrate on the task and forget enjoying the wedding. Hope you can get your son to hire a pro.

Opus Loc: South East Michigan

I have photographed two family weddings where I was just an uncle and instead of enjoying the wedding I was working. My question is how are you going to take the traditional pictures that have the mother of the groom in them. Put your foot down and tell them to hire a pro. You only get one chance to get it right at a wedding. Better for them to be mad for a short period than to be mad for a long time if the pictures fall short of what they expect.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

I got involved doing video and stills for a local theater group. Watching a play through a viewfinder is no fun at all.

Rollo62 Loc: Memphis, TN

I agree that they need a professional that has experence with shooting weddings. It is a special breed of photographer who shoots weddings for a living. I was asked on a Friday if I could shoot a wedding that late afternoon & lighting is everything. I had no experence in this field & I had the wrong tripod & my bag was not user friendly to quick access to lens. You need to scope out the area before hand & plan a few posed shots. Pray alot! Get a tripod with a ball head for quick adjustments. I stayed on automatic & trusted my camera. Have them schedule a time prior to & after to pose for special shots ie; hands, ring, dress, etc. The best advice is DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!

Rollo62 Loc: Memphis, TN

dpullum-You may have given the best advice of all. If she feels she can do it, it ought to be a pleasent experence & even fun. Her family shoud expect this & understand up front that these are photos from a mothers perspective. Perhaps she could get help from others. :thumbup:

steve_stoneblossom Loc: Rhode Island, USA

I have a friend who is a renowned professional photographer- whose work is regularly published in periodicals and books- and he shot his daughters wedding... AS A BACKUP!
It would be one matter if you were at ease with this idea. Clearly you would not. Bring your equipment and take pictures, but HIRE SOMEONE. Pay for it yourself if you must. If I thought I had enough experience, I would offer to help myself.
Hope this is not your only child...

wireman8 Loc: Toledo, Ohio

Ditto on all responses

jerryg Loc: NE Pa

My advice as a pro wedding photographer www.jaygeephotography.com is get someone else to do it even if it costs them. You'd be better off to give them some financial help rather than doing it yourself. In Oct I did my sons wedding and although I have done tons of them I wasn't nervous - I wasn't at his wedding - I was working. I am a pro and have a regular itinerary and plan for this stuff - I WORK when I do weddings that'smy job.. I rarely even get a chance to sit down except during dinner. I have to be on the go all the time. It's my job not to miss special moments and the same thing carried through with my kids wedding.It was no fun for me and didn't get to enjoy the event and was hot, sweating, always on the alert, had to have lots of equipment. Give them some money and sit back and enjoy as this is also a one shot deal for you as well!

It takes much more than just having a "good camera" to do weddings. It takes years of experience and having made mistakes and having learned what needs to be photographed. Besides you need some specialized equipemt like an expensive flash unit that works with an external battery pack which allows your flash to recycle instantly. On camera flash is terrible. One that operates on AA batteries is not even a possibility because the recycling time of the flash will cause you to miss many important photos as there are times when you have to take a rather fast sequence of shots. Any questions PM me.

Elle Loc: Long Island, NY

I agree with all of the previous statements that the main responsibility of taking your son's wedding pictures may ruin your day. Question is whether the request was due to financial restraints or that your "style" and imagination is unique and what they are looking for. If the former, offer to pay for one yourself and if the latter, think about scheduling some time before or after the event to shoot some portrait type photos that you can work your magic on.

jerryg Loc: NE Pa

My advice as a pro wedding photographer www.jaygeephotographer.com is get someone else to do it even if it costs them. You'd be better off to give them some financial help rather than doing it yourself. In Oct I di mmy sons wedding and although I have done tons of them I wasn't nervous - I wasn't at his wedding - I was working. I am a pro and have a regular itinerary and plan for this stuff - Iwork when I do weddings. I rarely even get a cahnce to sit down except during dinner. I have to be on the go all the time. It's my job not to miss special moments and the same thing carried through with my kids wedding.It was no fun for me and didn't get to enjoy the event and was hot, sweating, always on the alert, had to have lots of equipment. Give them so money and sit back and enjoy as this is also a one shot deal for you as well!

It takes much more than just having a "good camera" to do weddings. It takes years of experience and having made mistakes and having learned what needs to be photographed. Besides you need some specialized equipemt like an expensive flash unit that works with an external battery pack which allows yuor flash to recycle instantly. On camera flash is terrible. One that operates on AA batteries is not even a possibility because the recycling time of the flash will cause you to miss many important photos as there are times when you have to take a rather fast sequence of shots. Any questions PM me.