kathlyndee

I have been asked to do the pics at my son's wedding in June. I am the family photographer and do some professional business on the side but have never done anything as extensive as a wedding and am scared to death about it. I really am learning as much as I can all the time but don't feel anywhere near equipped to do something "one shot" as a wedding. It's not like you get a do over.

I have told them maybe they should hire someone but they have assured me they really want me to do the pictures, it would be special to them etc.etc.

Now my question for those of you who have done weddings, what are the best and most important tips. Other than, "It's all about the dress". Please tell me there are some magic guidelines to follow so I don't make some disastrous mistake that will haunt me forever. After all it is my son's wedding. Help!

traveler90712 Loc: Lake Worth, Fl.

I think your crazy! It's your son's wedding and you'll be tied up taking pictures... :thumbdown:

photophly Loc: Old Bridge NJ

Do you really want to be tied up taking pictures at yoir sons wedding?You are going to miss much of what is going on.Hire a Pro and enjoy the wedding.

Mary P

I don't know exactly why they want you to do their pictures, but I'm in the same situation. These people just kept asking and I don't feel I'm anywhere close to doing a wedding. I met someone on this site who is fairly close to where I will be and she's going to be my backup. She's done some weddings and it's a small one. I don't feel nearly as intimidated. Also, look at other's wedding photos and make some notes on what you'd like to capture.

Doe Loc: N, Augusta, South Carolina

I just started taking pictures this past year, so I am no professional at all. But I do have experience taking photos for my daughter's small and informal wedding this past year.

DON'T DO IT!

It may save a lot of money for them, but you will be a nervous wreck, and you don't get to enjoy the moments because you are to busy looking through the camera. You don't get to socialize with family or friends and that starts from the moment you get there until you leave. You have to be careful what you are wearing because you do a lot of bending, squatting, etc. and then you will be in some of the pictures, so your outfit has to be multifunctional.

Let someone else be responsible to photograph the wedding and you photograph what you want too and add them to their album or make a separate album for them with your photos and your love.

jpy56 Loc: Las Vegas, NV

Oh, man. IF you can't convince them to let you hire someone else, I have a few little pieces of advise for you. Keeping in mind that all of my wedding photography was done in a previous life...the old film days.
First...take a Zanax....because you'll be a nervous wreck and won't be able to "enjoy" the wedding.
As I said, I shot weddings in the old film days, so I needed more than one camera and flash(s).
I also had the luxury to have my wife as my assistant....to change film and lenses.
As mentioned by a few others...look at some websites and other wedding pictures. There are the standard shots, including the family shots, etc. But try to capture those candid shots of wedding party and guests that help to capture the emotions and beauty of the day.
I might add that I got into weddings after a friend's photographer backed out at the last minute and I did their wedding as a favor....but, I was a wreck!
From that....they were all referrals...and I kept increasing my fee because I hated it so much. I think mostly because of the pressure that I put on myself.
My hat is off to those wedding photographers who do such a great job and keep their sanity!!

:D
I hope this helps a little. And, I hope that whatever happens that you get to enjoy the day!

Roger Hicks Loc: Aquitaine

If you REALLY can't get out of it (easily the best option), the following was written for doing non-professional weddings under pressure from family and friends: where "you would offend them more by refusing than you would by doing it on your terms."

http://www.rogerandfrances.com/subscription/ps%20weddings.html

Cheers,

R.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

And how, exactly, will the mother of the groom be dressed on this special day - photo vest or elegant dress? A beautiful dress might not be the best choice for a working photographer.

I assume you would be charging them less than a wedding pro. Could that have anything to do with their decision?

From what I have seen in my limited experience, people tend to complain about the results of the wedding photographer's efforts. Do you want to be sitting there as people look at the photos and about them?

This is a no-win situation. The mother of the groom is under considerable stress on the wedding day, or so my mother has told me. Why add to that by being "The Photographer"?

larrycumba

The disastrous mistake you will make is not putting your foot down and refuse to do it.

CaptainC Loc: Colorado, south of Denver

Oh wow. Let me say this in the most loving way possible:

What the hell are you thinking? Everyone up to this point has been right on the money. This is a terrible way for the mother of the groom to spend the day. All the photographic reasons on top of that. During the ceremony, when you should be wiping tears of joy you will be what?...shedding tears of frustration over your White Balance? Not that there will be any stress.

Mother of the bride is a different story - she SHOULD be given a job to keep her occupied and out of the way! :-)

Wedding photography is a distinct skill set. I am a reasonable portrait photographer and avoid weddings like the plague. I have friends to whom I send all wedding inquiries.

GoofyNewfie Loc: Kansas City

Ditto- enjoy the wedding. I blew my sister's wedding- sync switch on my Mamiya TLR slipped to M so the electronic flash went off before the shutter even opened....thankfully, they've been married almost 30 years.

vallabh1

Hello Folks,
Would you do your own surgery if you knew a little about medicine or stand in front of a judge and defend yourself for murder??????

Let someone with the experience do the job and enjoy the wedding.

photoman315

Wedding Photography is very stressful. Add to that, No MULTIPLY that by the fact you are father of the groom, you are going down a slippery slope. Even if you do a great job, they will find fault with something. You forgot to get the shot of the bride with Aunt Betty. Also your wife will not be able to enjoy the day. Hire a pro and make it your gift. That way you can enjoy the day and no complaints later. Good luck!

alienmurphy Loc: Alaska

I don't believe in doing any kind of shoot for family and/or friends. We tell people they need a professional for their special occasion (regardless of the occasion); and we stick to our guns. No means no. It only takes a few no's and friends/family will stop asking.

Iduno Loc: Near Tampa Florida

Print these responses and share them with the bride and groom. If they still want you to do it, then I don't know what to say. This is wrong on so many levels.