Probably need some flash. :lol:

Nice one Sarge. :thumbup:

PROUD DADDY

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years,
reunited at a party...

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy.
He started working at a successful company at the bottom of
the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon
began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the
president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his
best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my
pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went
to flight school to become a pilot.Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the
best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his
own construction company and is now a multimillionaire...
He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his
best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked:
'What are all the congratulations for?'

One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel
for the successes of our sons...
What about your son?'

The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living
dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The three friends said: 'What a shame... What a
disappointment.'

The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son
and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks
ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to
the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to
buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need
cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The
pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't
give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll
lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad
things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The
lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in
bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture
and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

ZEN TEACHINGS

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just p~** off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you pass wind.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.

14. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

15. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

16. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

17. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.

18. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

No.3 Says to me "Tracing back our roots on the Family Tree". :idea:

Really good. :thumbup:

Oohhhh. :hunf: I told you U was looking at getting the same lens. My Bank Manager is not going to appreciate your input. :lol:
Keep em coming. :thumbup:

A really nice set. :thumbup:
My only observation is there seems to be a Halo around the subject on some shots (On my laptop). Any ideas as to why?

Very good. :thumbup:

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - because we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved 25 miles to Wexford.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle. Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Distillery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.

I'm sorry to say that your idiot cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.

We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the metallic buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday.. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He wound down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the flatbed at the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time.



Nothing much has happened.
Your loving Mum.

PS - I wanted to send you some money with this letter but I have already closed the envelope.

I hope your neighbours didn't call the police. :lol:

Nice shots Angler. :thumbup:
Can't wait to hear your comments on the 'Big Sig'. I am seriously thinking to get one when I can get over to the UK.

Nice one Sarge.

Lovely set Molly. :thumbup: I like the woodgrain on the post (no.1) as it compliments the feathers.