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Posts for: mugwhump
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Dec 19, 2013 17:15:53   #
bcheary wrote:
http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/senate-passes-budget-obama/2013/12/18/id/542663


This country is in real trouble ... and The Unaffordable care act may just put it over the edge :thumbdown:
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Dec 13, 2013 14:00:35   #
steve40 wrote:
That was bad, the husband shot the wrong party. Shooting the guy does not stop the problem, there are always more guys.


Dat's true :thumbup: A hoe is a hoe is a hoe
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Dec 13, 2013 12:08:28   #
jwenz wrote:
Sensational humor. Thanks

How about this one..

It's all sh**'s & Giggles until someone Giggles & Sh**'s.


:thumbup:
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Dec 12, 2013 16:24:46   #
SteveR wrote:
mugwhump....What do you expect when she's frigid?


:thumbup:
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Dec 12, 2013 14:58:23   #
magicray wrote:
Funny stiff, Mug. Thanks!


:thumbup: :thumbup: I thought it might be a little too risque for this board...but what the hell.
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Dec 12, 2013 14:40:12   #
Pretty lame sex 8-)
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Dec 12, 2013 14:33:12   #
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.


SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".
But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".
Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.


FIVE Other Simple Truths
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.


Bonus Truth:
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
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Dec 10, 2013 23:14:57   #
dirtpusher wrote:
we also passed open carry....

snopes got it right this time, but wouldn't take everything those two retired people say.


8-)
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Dec 10, 2013 23:02:31   #
I thought these two e-mails, the first about Illinois and the second about Oklahoma, made an interesting contrast . .

"A State with No Republicans!"

Very interesting... Makes ya wanna move there, doesn't it? (Not!) A wonderful state with zero Republicans - The State of Illinois.

Some interesting data on the 'state' of Illinois ... There are more people on welfare in Illinois than there are people working. Chicago pays the highest wages to teachers than anywhere else in the U.S. averaging $110,000/year. Their pensions average 80-90% of their income. Wow, are Illinois and Chicago great or what? Be sure to read till the end. I've never heard it explained better. Perhaps the U.S. should pull out of Chicago? Body count: In the last six months, 292 killed (murdered) in Chicago. 221 killed in Iraq; AND Chicago has one of the strictest gun laws in the entire US.

Here's the Chicago chain of command: President: Barack Hussein Obama · Senator: Dick Durbin · House Representative: Jesse Jackson Jr. · Governor: Pat Quinn · House leader: Mike Madigan · Atty. Gen.: Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike) · Mayor: Rahm Emanuel· The leadership in Illinois - all Democrats. · Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago. · Of course, they're all blaming each other. · Can't blame Republicans; there aren't any! · Chicago school system rated one of the worst in the country. Can't blame Republicans; there aren't any!

State pension fund $78 Billion in debt, worst in country. Can't blame Republicans; there aren't any!

Cook County (Chicago) sales tax 10.25% highest in country. Can't blame Republicans; there aren't any!

This is the political culture that Obama comes from in Illinois. And he is going to 'fix' Washington politics for us?

George Ryan is no longer Governor, he is in prison.

He was replaced by Rob Blagojevich who is, that's right, also in prison.

And Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. resigned, .. and that's right,he and his wife both are in prison also.

The Land of Lincoln, where our Governors and Representatives make our license plates. What?

As long as they keep providing entitlements to the population of Chicago, nothing is going to change, except the state will go broke before the country does.

"Anybody who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian."

Don’t forget Detroit, another greatexampleof a Democratic empire…





PART 2—Oklahoma

OKLAHOMA - may soon have plenty of new residents!

THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING, AND TRUE ... PLEASE READ IT!

Oklahoma is the only state that Obama did not win even one county in the last election... While everyone is focusing on Arizona’s new law, look what Oklahoma has been doing!!!

An update from Oklahoma:

Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9 an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU,said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values... HB 1330

Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB 1804. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake.

Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegal's to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional SB 1102

Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. Joining Texas, Montana and Utah as the only states to do so.



More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Carolina's, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi and Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. HJR 1003

The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I'm sure that was a setback for the criminals The Liberals didn't like it -- But....

Guess what... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Just this month, the state has voted and passed a law that ALL drivers’ license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. They have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of the road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma, you must read and write English. Really simple.

By the way, the Liberals don't like any of this either

Guess what... who cares... Oklahoma is doing it anyway.

If you like it, pass it on, if you don't then delete it... Thanks


Guess what: the people I'm sending this to, will send it on. Well, at least the ones who love and believe in freedom will.

In God We Trust

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/pending/oklahoma.asp
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Dec 10, 2013 13:59:42   #
bemused_bystander wrote:
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two
visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly
well for my age. (I am just Sixty ).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist
asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or
hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued
ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red
meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf,
boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot
of sex?'

'No,' I said...

She looked at me and said,
'Then, why do you even give a s**t?'
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After... (show quote)


That is Very funny!
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
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Dec 7, 2013 14:08:14   #
davidrb wrote:
8-) 8-) 8-) "Virgin?" Is that a terrorist that hasn't blown itself up yet? :oops: :oops: :oops:


:roll: :roll: :thumbup:
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Dec 7, 2013 13:39:50   #
Black Bart wrote:
This one goes around every year at Christmas but it is still funny. Also true about not finding any wise men.


:thumbup:
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Dec 7, 2013 13:39:34   #
Georgie wrote:
LOL


:thumbup:
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Dec 7, 2013 13:39:19   #
rickerb wrote:
Funny, no doubt.
I really thought this was going to be a comment about some Supreme Court decision.
Really funny.


:thumbup: :thumbup:
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Dec 7, 2013 00:13:17   #
Jakebrake wrote:
Outstanding!!! I spilled my coffee and fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. Good one... :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


Glad you liked it!
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