Life's Simple Truths
Dec 12, 2013 14:33:12 #
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".
But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".
Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.
FIVE Other Simple Truths
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.
Bonus Truth:
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".
But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".
Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.
FIVE Other Simple Truths
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk.
Bonus Truth:
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Dec 12, 2013 14:53:55 #
Dec 12, 2013 14:58:23 #
magicray wrote:
Funny stiff, Mug. Thanks!
:thumbup: :thumbup: I thought it might be a little too risque for this board...but what the hell.
Dec 13, 2013 09:43:07 #
Sensational humor. Thanks
How about this one..
It's all sh**'s & Giggles until someone Giggles & Sh**'s.
How about this one..
It's all sh**'s & Giggles until someone Giggles & Sh**'s.
Dec 13, 2013 10:15:53 #
mugwhump wrote:
SIMPLE TRUTH 1 br Lovers help each other undress... (show quote)
"4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them."
I have a list. How about a "hunting season"? :wink: :roll: :?
Dec 13, 2013 12:08:28 #
jwenz wrote:
Sensational humor. Thanks
How about this one..
It's all sh**'s & Giggles until someone Giggles & Sh**'s.
How about this one..
It's all sh**'s & Giggles until someone Giggles & Sh**'s.
:thumbup:
Dec 13, 2013 12:43:28 #
mugwhump wrote:
SIMPLE TRUTH 1 br Lovers help each other undress... (show quote)
That was bad, the husband shot the wrong party. Shooting the guy does not stop the problem, there are always more guys.
Dec 13, 2013 14:00:35 #
steve40 wrote:
That was bad, the husband shot the wrong party. Shooting the guy does not stop the problem, there are always more guys.
Dat's true :thumbup: A hoe is a hoe is a hoe
Dec 13, 2013 14:24:15 #
mugwhump wrote:
Dat's true :thumbup: A hoe is a hoe is a hoe
There is a lot of different kinds of "hoes". :wink: :roll: :shock: 8-) :?
Dec 13, 2013 14:40:38 #
There is also these kinds. :lol: These is the biggest "Hoe's".
Dec 13, 2013 14:45:49 #
TrainNut wrote:
There is a lot of different kinds of "hoes". :wink: :roll: :shock: 8-) :?
Now that is funny
Dec 14, 2013 23:50:56 #
Milk may not solve a lot of problems but it will stop the baby from crying at times and stave off starvation for a while.
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