Depression is a choice fools make. I choose to not make it. I have been through far worse than has any depressoid, and I have not been depressed a day in my life. I have been, literally tortured....stripped naked, tied up, kicked, punched, whipped, stabbed, slashed, burned, threatened with the deaths of loved ones, poisoned, etc....to the point of having out of body experiences. It did not depress me. I expected it. Depression is not due to hormone imbalances, or life traumas. It arises from the differences between your hopes / expectations, and your achievements. Expect to live in a 40 room mansion, but end up in a one bedroom apartment, and you will be mightily depressed. Expect to be homeless, living under a bridge, outside, in the elements, but end up in a one bedroom apartment, and you will be joyously happy. The one bedroom apartment is the same in either case. Only your reaction to it varies in the two cases....because of your expectations. You choose your expectations, so you choose either joy, or depression. If anyone has a right to be depressed, it is me. I have been tortured, disabled, and-for a time-homeless. I was never depressed through any of it, since I expected it all, and worse. At all times, my expectations have been met, or exceeded. I got what I expected, or better than I expected, so I had no depression. Depression is something you do to yourself-via your choices...your chosen expectations, and your chosen reactions-and you can choose un-do it any time you really want to. Change your choices. Drugs are not the answer. Counseling from others who are as depressed as you are is not helpful. Admit your blame, and make new choices....or remain depressed. It is your choice.