Posts for: bobbyjohn
Mar 4, 2018 11:48:58 #
LIPSTICK PROBLEM
Tom Vaculik reported that a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors, leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the Custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.
To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He proceeded to take out a long-handled brush, dip it in the nearest toilet, and scrub the mirrors.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirrors.
Tom Vaculik reported that a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors, leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the Custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.
To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He proceeded to take out a long-handled brush, dip it in the nearest toilet, and scrub the mirrors.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirrors.
Feb 24, 2018 19:00:34 #
CAUTION: ANYONE WHO SCORES 100% ON THIS QUIZ IS OLD...
The answers are below, but don't cheat!
01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." "What did he leave behind?_______________________.
02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on the ______________________show.
03. Get your kicks _______________.
04. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed____________________.
05. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, _________________________.
06. After the twist, the mashed potatoes, and the watusi, we "danced" under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the _________________________.
07. N_E_S_T_L_E_S, Nestle's makes the very best _______________.
08. Satchmo was America's "ambassador of goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was____________________.
09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking?__________________.
10. Red Skeltons hobo character was________________________, and he always ended his television show by saying, "Good night, and_____________________________."
11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam war did so by burning their_________________.
12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front, was called the VW. What other names did it go by__________________________&_______________________.
13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music died." This was a tribute to _________________________.
14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it; it was called _____________________.
15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ___________.
Answers:
01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan show.
03. Route 66
04. to protect the innocent.
05. The Lion sleeps tonight.
06. The limbo
07. chocolate.
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch.
10. Freddy the freeloader, and "Good night, and may God Bless."
11. draft cards (the bra was also burned); And so, in some cases, were Flags
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. sputnik
15. hoola-hoop
The answers are below, but don't cheat!
01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." "What did he leave behind?_______________________.
02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on the ______________________show.
03. Get your kicks _______________.
04. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed____________________.
05. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, _________________________.
06. After the twist, the mashed potatoes, and the watusi, we "danced" under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the _________________________.
07. N_E_S_T_L_E_S, Nestle's makes the very best _______________.
08. Satchmo was America's "ambassador of goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was____________________.
09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking?__________________.
10. Red Skeltons hobo character was________________________, and he always ended his television show by saying, "Good night, and_____________________________."
11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam war did so by burning their_________________.
12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front, was called the VW. What other names did it go by__________________________&_______________________.
13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music died." This was a tribute to _________________________.
14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it; it was called _____________________.
15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ___________.
Answers:
01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan show.
03. Route 66
04. to protect the innocent.
05. The Lion sleeps tonight.
06. The limbo
07. chocolate.
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch.
10. Freddy the freeloader, and "Good night, and may God Bless."
11. draft cards (the bra was also burned); And so, in some cases, were Flags
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. sputnik
15. hoola-hoop
Feb 22, 2018 19:10:15 #
The Lawyer & the Loan
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer 3 months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):
“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented an application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear title back to its origin.”
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
“Your letter regarding title in Case 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 215 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the US from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats the title to land prior to US ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by “Right of Discovery” made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by then reigning monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the vicar of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world called Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I hope you find His original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?”
The loan was granted.
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer 3 months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):
“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented an application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear title back to its origin.”
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
“Your letter regarding title in Case 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 215 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the US from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats the title to land prior to US ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by “Right of Discovery” made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by then reigning monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the vicar of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world called Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I hope you find His original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?”
The loan was granted.
Feb 21, 2018 10:54:53 #
That's correct. It's one of those "Mind Games" things. The mind wants to read the word regardless of the color of the word. The key here is to try to read it "as FAST as you can." If you read the color of the word slowly, sure, any one can get through all without problem. It's just that FAST can be challenging.
Feb 20, 2018 19:43:48 #
Call out the colors of each word as fast as you can.
Feb 16, 2018 18:55:34 #
Fat Gregory wrote:
Nothing changes for me... what am I missing?
The negative becomes a positive...for a few seconds anyway...before it drifts away. If you haven't already, hit the "Download" to see it as a larger image....perhaps that will help.
Feb 15, 2018 17:40:22 #
Stare at the 3 colored dots for 15 seconds...then move your focus to the white area at the right....Viola!
Feb 14, 2018 19:13:17 #
Based off the old TV show called "Blue Collar" starring Jeff Foxworthy. For those of you who may recall seeing that show, there is one segment entitled "You Might be a Redneck."
Just do a YouTube search on "Jeff Foxworthy Redneck," and you'll find a ton of good stuff...his humor is knee-slapping, and down-to-earth like a good old country boy!
Just do a YouTube search on "Jeff Foxworthy Redneck," and you'll find a ton of good stuff...his humor is knee-slapping, and down-to-earth like a good old country boy!
Feb 13, 2018 16:54:35 #
If you use a Laptop like this...you just might be a Redneck!
Feb 11, 2018 12:04:49 #
NickelCigar wrote:
Very nice work. Were there difficulties in doing it? You are one lucky guy. She is beautiful.
Creating such a morph takes quite a bit of time and effort. Using the Morpheus program, between each transition, you have to place dots at each of the significant facial places. The more dots, the smoother and the better the transition. I typically place dots at the corners and tops of each eye, on left and right side of each eyebrow, mouth has dots on left right top bottom, chin at bottom and 2 sides, ears top and bottom, and one at the top of head. You also select the timing of each transition in seconds.
So if it is only 1 transition in the morph, it is relatively easy. The more images...each one has to have the dots placed. I've done some morphs of other family members using >100 images, so even if 3 seconds each, that's a 5 minute piece....perhaps too long.
Feb 11, 2018 11:51:35 #
Selfies .... boy do I dislike Selfies!
One can tell a selfie a mile away...arms which are cut off 1/2 way down...or the head(s) looking unnaturally upwards. By golly, if you want a picture of yourself, get someone else take it!
One can tell a selfie a mile away...arms which are cut off 1/2 way down...or the head(s) looking unnaturally upwards. By golly, if you want a picture of yourself, get someone else take it!
Feb 10, 2018 11:08:03 #
A one-minute Morpheus video of my wife from young girl, through teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. This was created using Morpheus, a program that morphs one image to the next. Therefore, quite different from a standard slide-show.
It is on Facebook, so you must be logged onto Facebook to view it:
https://www.facebook.com/100005363894942/videos/vb.100005363894942/603177499871041/?type=3
It is on Facebook, so you must be logged onto Facebook to view it:
https://www.facebook.com/100005363894942/videos/vb.100005363894942/603177499871041/?type=3
Feb 9, 2018 18:45:33 #
In case you needed further proof that the human race is littered with stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
1. On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.” (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Frito's: “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.” (The shoplifter special.)
3. On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (And that would be how...?)
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (But its “just” a suggestion.)
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (Too late!)
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (As night follows day ...)
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
8. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (One would hope.)
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (As opposed to what?)
11. On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.” (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (Talk about a news flash.)
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
14. On a child's superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.” (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
1. On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.” (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
2. On a bag of Frito's: “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.” (The shoplifter special.)
3. On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (And that would be how...?)
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (But its “just” a suggestion.)
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (Too late!)
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” (As night follows day ...)
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
8. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (One would hope.)
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (As opposed to what?)
11. On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.” (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (Talk about a news flash.)
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
14. On a child's superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.” (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Feb 5, 2018 19:08:26 #
Jan 30, 2018 18:44:08 #
To Those of Us Born 1930 - 1979
Here's to US!!!!
No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us old-timers, WE ARE AWESOME !!!! OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF !!!!
____________________________________________________________________________
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no child-proof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight.. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no social networking.
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The 50 years from 1930 - 1979 have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!
We have had the good luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
Maybe your kids would like to know how brave and lucky their parents were.
_____________________________________________________________________
Quote extraordinaire from Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Here's to US!!!!
No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us old-timers, WE ARE AWESOME !!!! OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF !!!!
____________________________________________________________________________
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no child-proof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight.. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no social networking.
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The 50 years from 1930 - 1979 have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!
We have had the good luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
Maybe your kids would like to know how brave and lucky their parents were.
_____________________________________________________________________
Quote extraordinaire from Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"