Tae a fart

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
it's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae god it disnae reek

But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty.

--Bob

Jerry, my background is in mechanical system design and heat energy is a factor that we had to deal with by either adding, removing and always controlling in precise ways.

This is a comparison of the heat content of different items used as fuel in terms of Btu. A Btu is the amount of heat required to raise one pound of water one degree Fahrenheit.

Electricity (Killowatt) = 3,412 Btu
Natural gas: one cubic foot = 1,030 Btu
Propane gas: one cubic foot = 2,500 Btu
No. Two fuel oil (gallon): 138,000 Btu
Coal (pound): 14,000 Btu
Wood-air dried (pound): 2,500 Btu

Now for the sad part; It is estimated that 80% to 90% of the heat produced by a wood-burning fireplace is lost through the chimney. Moreover, an open fireplace pulls in more air—both inside and outside—than is needed for burning, reducing the heating efficiency of your home even more.

Gas and oil furnaces also lose a portion of their heat out of the flue due to the need for air to produce combustion. A fitting question would be,"If air goes out my chimney or flue, where does it come from?" "If it comes from inside the home, how did it get in, and how does it get replaced?" "If the air needed for combustion comes ultimately from the outdoors (of course), does this mean that cold winter air is entering my home?" "Do I have to pay to heat this cold air entering my home that goes up the chimney or flue?" Yes, you do..!

My parents had a wood stove for heat in one room, so my father purchased a "cord" of wood from a local man. He had the wood delivered and stacked, after the delivery my father looked at the wood and he measured the wood stack,it was not a "cord"; 4'x4'x8'.He then contacted the state department of weights and measures, they inspected the stack and agreed, and asked how the wood was delivered, "in a pickup" was the reply. My father was then informed that a "cord" of wood will not fit in a pickup, so the seller of the wood was contacted by the state and informed of the shortage and enough wood to make up the shortage was delivered free of charge.

The value of the load resistor is calculated: R=E/I where E is the nominal voltage of the cell and I is the test load on amps. Example, a NiMH cell has a nominal voltage of 1.44. At a test current of 200 ma (0.2 amps) the R value would be 7.2 ohms or more commonly, 10 ohms. At full charge the loaded voltage should be close to 1.4 volts. For LiIon camera batteries the voltages will vary by make. The nominal voltage per cell might be close to 3.7 volts. A two cell pack would be 7.4 volts. Using the above equation, and a test current of 200 ma, the load resistor would be around 37 ohms. A loaded cell showing within 90% of nominal would be good. At 75% it would questionable and needing a charge. A cell showing a gradually reducing voltage under load would be considered bad. Hope this helps.

Battery (energy storage) technology is changing all the time. There used to be a few different basic types- disposable, rechargeable, lead-acid, nickel-cadmium and lately Lithium-Ion cells. Each of these types has various incarnations and variations with different characteristics as to charging rate, charging cycles, long-term storage capacity and longevity.

I, therefore in good conscience, will make any blanket recommendation that would apply to all batteries. I do have, in my studio, so many battery-operated devices- cameras strobes, speedlights, radio slaves and lord knows what else. The pencil sharpener in the office works on batteries. Based on this situation and experience and a few bad occurrences, here is my advice:

Never leave batteries in any camera or device in long-term dormant storage. There is no logical reason to do that. Take the time to do a bit of research on each type of battery you use in your more costly cameras and electronic flash gear. The battery manufacturer should have data on what percentage of charge must be retained to maintain battery health. When you find out the correct information you can devise a maintenance schedule.

If you don't look after your batteries they can fail at the most inopportune times or worse leak into the camera, battery grip, or the flash unit. If that happens, the cost of battery replacement will seem minuscule compared to the repair bill for the damaged camera or unit. It is best, never to charge a battery in the camera or unit if that possibility exists. Camera batteries are not physically large in size but it's amazing how hot, swollen and messy they can get if there is a short circuit if they are overcharged, or otherwise mishandled.

I am not certain that specific battery data is included in all camera and flash gear manuals. Aftermarket or 3rd-party batteries may have different characteristics as to charging and charge retention even the voltage and ampere/hour rating are the same.

Attaced is a shot of my battery testing station. Batteries became a major expense so I deced to monitor the usage more carefully. I keep the label maker handy because I date all new batteries and keep tabs on usage. I can check charging rates, etc. I am not the world's greatest authority of energy storage, far for that, but I have learned how to extend battery longevity, preclude unexpected battery failure, and avoid costly equipment repairs. A stitch in time saves nine- my mom used to say!