Skills of parenting . .
Yeah, beat them while telling them it hurts you more than them. Or, it will make them a better person. How can you teach love by punishing? Does physical punishment further love? Or is it done because we don't have any other answer? My son was never hit on the fanny or anywhere else. He was a wonderful person all of his 44 years on this plane of existence. Love, not punishment, raises a child.
amyinsparta wrote:
Yeah, beat them while telling them it hurts you more than them. Or, it will make them a better person. How can you teach love by punishing? Does physical punishment further love? Or is it done because we don't have any other answer? My son was never hit on the fanny or anywhere else. He was a wonderful person all of his 44 years on this plane of existence. Love, not punishment, raises a child.
Amy, first I am sorry for your loss. I have lost both my son and daughter. Nothing could ever be worse for a parent than to lose their child.
But as parents we all have a choice of how to raise our children. You chose not to use corporal punishment and it worked for you. My stepson and his wife have never used corporal punishment on either of their daughters, one 11 and the other 2. They have never needed to use corporal punishment. I doubt that choice would have worked for my parents with raising three boys though.
Nobody has said beating a child was acceptable. We are talking about spanking, no whips, no chains, no belts, nothing like that was mentioned as a good thing to raise children.
Dennis
amyinsparta wrote:
Yeah, beat them while telling them it hurts you more than them. Or, it will make them a better person. How can you teach love by punishing? Does physical punishment further love? Or is it done because we don't have any other answer? My son was never hit on the fanny or anywhere else. He was a wonderful person all of his 44 years on this plane of existence. Love, not punishment, raises a child.
There are ways to punish without hitting.
My daughter was a good kid. Back in 1970 I did swat my daughter on her rubber baby pants that were over her diaper, and that was rare. I'm sure she never felt it, but the noise made a point. Once she was out of diapers and misbehaved I made her stand in a corner. It got to where all I'd have to say was 'do you want to stand in a corner?'. She was never in trouble in school and was always polite. She is now a proud grandmother.
On my wife's side one of our granddaughters was slamming her bedroom door when she was upset. Her father removed the door. That ended that.
Parenting starts 6 months before birth, and it is black and white dictature shipments, kids get tell what to do, not ask, boundary are set and over stepping is dealt with immediately négociations are absolutely out of question, do watch your ask or accept consequence.
spanking is not violence! It is punishment for unacceptable behavior.
JCam
Loc: MD Eastern Shore
rustfarmer wrote:
Sure. Let's teach our kids that violence is the answer to problem behavior. Sick.
Let us not forget that parenting is a skill seldom a taught, but rather learned through experience, and all parents quickly realize that corrections for minor infractions by a child the age of the one in the photo immediately applied work much better than a "Wait until your (other parent) gets home". I am not seconding beating a child, but a quick smack across the butt for a not too significant violation by your child your gets their gets attention like nothing else does and much more quickly. IN some cases it could even save their life.
Got that when I deserved it during my childhood!
Don
JCam wrote:
Let us not forget that parenting is a skill seldom a taught, but rather learned through experience, and all parents quickly realize that corrections for minor infractions by a child the age of the one in the photo immediately applied work much better than a "Wait until your (other parent) gets home". I am not seconding beating a child, but a quick smack across the butt for a not too significant violation by your child your gets their gets attention like nothing else does and much more quickly. IN some cases it could even save their life.
Let us not forget that parenting is a skill seldom... (
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Neither of my parents believed in waiting for the other to come home. Punishment was usually swift and forthcoming but deserved.
Dennis
dennis2146 wrote:
Exactly, the key word is, extremes. As a child I had my face slapped, butt spanked with hand and an occasional belt and one use of a switch by my mom. She was not an abusive parent nor was my father. But when they told us something it was meant to be followed. Like others have stated, I deserved everything I ever received.
I look at the way I was brought up, to show respect to others, to not break the law, to do well in school, and to give back to a country that has given me so much; then I look at some kids of today who tell police to go screw themselves, use drugs, steal and do not work and I am thankful I had the parents I was given.
Dennis
Exactly, the key word is, extremes. As a child I ... (
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It’s call applying the board of correction to the seat of knowledge!
To 'AMYINSPARTA'. "Love, not punishment, raises the child". I'm sure a lot of the crooks, thieves,
murderers, car jackers, wife abusers, child beaters and anyone else that fits in this category were "LOVED"
as a child when a little "PUNISHMENT" as a child could have kept them out of this group! So, now behind bars, they receive their "delayed' punishment. And usually at the expense of innocent victims.
P.S. I have a granddaughter who loved to "PLAY" 'time out'. A great help to her parents! I could go on.
If the kids learn what respect is, then they hardly ever wind up getting spanked.
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