Go with your gut, it rarely if ever lets you down!
The gentlest way is to inform them that an unplanned conflict arose for their Wedding date that precludes you doing their event with apologies for any inconvenience. Hopefully the date is far enough in advance that they can make other arrangements. I learned early-on that clearly indicating the style of wedding I did (mostly candid with some planned set shots) usually put us all on the same page and if they wanted another style (lot's of studio type shooting) that perhaps a more formal studio would better suit them. Good Luck. Pat
fotoman150 wrote:
I just finished a wedding consultation.
I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.
The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.
I just finished a wedding consultation. br br I’... (
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Perhaps the easiest way is to become "unavailable due to a scheduling conflict". Apologize for the inconvenience and move on.
fotoman150 wrote:
I just finished a wedding consultation.
I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.
The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.
I just finished a wedding consultation. br br I’... (
show quote)
Follow your gut..... Tell them "after our meeting, I feel you will be better off hiring someone else"
LWW
Loc: Banana Republic of America
fotoman150 wrote:
I just finished a wedding consultation.
I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.
The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.
I just finished a wedding consultation. br br I’... (
show quote)
Have you given them a price yet?
In all my business sales dealings ... photography and otherwise ... I have always kept in my head a PITA price list adjustment along with a regular price list and a paid in advance price list adjustment.
If I am paid upfront, thats a value to me and therefor a discount ... if my customer is going to require additional time and give me brain damage, thats something I am going to get paid for.
LWW wrote:
Have you given them a price yet?
In all my business sales dealings ... photography and otherwise ... I have always kept in my head a PITA price list adjustment along with a regular price list and a paid in advance price list adjustment.
If I am paid upfront, thats a value to me and therefor a discount ... if my customer is going to require additional time and give me brain damage, thats something I am going to get paid for.
I gave them a price but they haven’t paid yet and no agreement has been signed. I’m waiting to see if they want to hire me. They said they would let me know this weekend.
fotoman150 wrote:
I just finished a wedding consultation.
I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.
The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.
I just finished a wedding consultation. br br I’... (
show quote)
You do not want this gig. A polite E mail explaining that you are no longer available for that day will be sufficient.
Tell them you just checked your schedule again and you are already booked. Trust your intuition.
LWW
Loc: Banana Republic of America
As an addendum, turning down work is an individual by individual thing.
At 62 there are people I wouldn't consider that at 32 I would have ate a little shiite and taken the work.
AlfredU wrote:
Tell them you just checked your schedule again and you are already booked. Trust your intuition.
Tell them you just checked you calendar and saw a note on that day that said "do not work for unpleasant people" and as a result you must decline.
I did weddings and portraits until the late 1990's. I've been right where you are.
If my "Spidey Senses" went up, I declined the job. When one, or the other, was hesitant, I always demurred. Weddings are stressful enough for bride and groom, even the families, and if everyone wasn't on board, you could spend the entire time trying to please everyone.
I assisted a lot in the 70's, and I kept my mouth shut, and observed a lot, learned a lot. The bridezillas almost always had a tell, and I just learned to look for it.
The days and stress were long and high enough as is. I didn't need the additional stress on me.
Did I lose a few clients? I'm sure I may have, but I still had more than enough work to keep me busy.
fotoman150 wrote:
I just finished a wedding consultation.
I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.
The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.
I just finished a wedding consultation. br br I’... (
show quote)
I think you nailed what to say when you posted this. Just tell them you have thought about it and you feel it isn't a good fit for both you as well as the bride and groom, you think they will be happier with another photographer. I see no need for further explanation than that. Remember they are customers but you also have a choice in whether or not you do the wedding. I would be courteous and professional and leave it at that.
If you do choose to photograph the wedding when your gut feeling says it will not go well, you are doing yourself a disservice, first by being stressed out. The second reason is the bride most likely will not like the photos you deliver. She will tell her friends you did a bad job and you may lose future business.
Dennis
dsmeltz wrote:
Tell them you just checked you calendar and saw a note on that day that said "do not work for unpleasant people" and as a result you must decline.
Even better, do what dsmeltz says. I once told one belligerent customer that I would race him to the door and if he got there first, I wouldn't have to throw him out. He turned and left quietly.
fotoman150 wrote:
I just finished a wedding consultation.
I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.
The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.
I just finished a wedding consultation. br br I’... (
show quote)
You just tell them it's not a good fit.
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