Laywer Joke
Nov 17, 2018 13:37:13 #
Subject: GOOD LAWYER STORY
Lawyers !
And if you think lawyers don't have hearts, read the best lawyer story of all time...bar none.
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way worker paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The United Way guy opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?'
Lawyers !
And if you think lawyers don't have hearts, read the best lawyer story of all time...bar none.
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way worker paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The United Way guy opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?'
Nov 17, 2018 13:52:17 #
Nov 17, 2018 14:03:48 #
Nov 17, 2018 14:30:42 #
Little boy asks his father, a mathematician, "What's two plus two?"
Dad, "Two plus two is four, of course."
He goes to his mom, a shrink, and asks, "Mom, what's two plus two?"
Mom: "Well, that answer would be affected by perception and cultural conditioning, it could be four...or it could be twenty-two."
Dissatisfied, he goes to his uncle, an attorney, and asks, "What's two plus two?"
His uncle asks, "How much do you want it to be?"
Dad, "Two plus two is four, of course."
He goes to his mom, a shrink, and asks, "Mom, what's two plus two?"
Mom: "Well, that answer would be affected by perception and cultural conditioning, it could be four...or it could be twenty-two."
Dissatisfied, he goes to his uncle, an attorney, and asks, "What's two plus two?"
His uncle asks, "How much do you want it to be?"
Nov 17, 2018 14:39:39 #
Nov 17, 2018 14:55:31 #
Nov 17, 2018 16:22:23 #
hasslichhog wrote:
letmedance - Isn't your topic title an oxymoron? lol
Dyslexia.
Nov 17, 2018 18:04:05 #
hasslichhog wrote:
letmedance - Isn't your topic title an oxymoron? lol
No, it’s more correctly defined as a REDUNDANCY.
Nov 18, 2018 07:10:30 #
Nov 18, 2018 07:18:55 #
A man walks into a bar. He has his pet alligator with him. He asks the bar man if he serves lawyers. The barman looks at the alligator and says yes. The man says a beer for me and a lawyer for my alligator.
Nov 18, 2018 08:09:09 #
Nov 18, 2018 08:29:24 #
Nov 18, 2018 09:16:14 #
Nov 18, 2018 09:59:12 #
StanMac
Loc: Tennessee
If everybody thinks lawyers are such awful people why do we elect so many to represent us in our legislatures?
Stan
Stan
Nov 18, 2018 10:50:32 #
That’s a dammed good question. Our voters also seem to lack The slightest memory. We re-elect culprits..
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