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A Jewish Mistress 😅
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Jun 28, 2018 16:18:58   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
Tronjo wrote:
What has "Jewish" to do with all this? Stereotypes are our worst enemy. Think...
Oy Vey!

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Jun 28, 2018 16:40:13   #
neco Loc: Western Colorado Mountains
 
jerryc41 wrote:
I like the "Ours."

It would have been just as funny without the Jewish flavoring.

"A wealthy businessman and his wife..."


👍

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Jun 28, 2018 18:00:20   #
Tronjo Loc: Canada, BC
 
Burtzy wrote:
I disagree...at least as a Jewish man. It's a cultural thing. Jewish wives, mine included have a possessive style about them that makes the joke funnier when the
"Ours" is the punchline. If you're not Jewish, the joke still works but on a wholly different level. You kind of need to grow up in a New York Jewish family and see the dynamic to understand. The Borscht Belt comic Henny Youngman said..."Take my wife...Please!" Without his beleaguered Jewish husband, hangdog look, the joke would fall flat.
I disagree...at least as a Jewish man. It's a cul... (show quote)


There are as many Jewish cultures as are countries in the world, plus some more If you think otherwise, do some reading. BTW, the joke is flat, with or without the Jewish part.

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Jun 28, 2018 18:04:39   #
PAR4DCR Loc: A Sunny Place
 
"Ours", what a reply

Don

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Jun 28, 2018 20:49:40   #
Marionsho Loc: Kansas
 
junglejim1949 wrote:
Jewish Mistress

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I
want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we
get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more
wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.
Jewish Mistress br br A Jewish husband and wife w... (show quote)



Now that's funny.
I don't care who you are.

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Jun 28, 2018 21:16:15   #
Architect1776 Loc: In my mind
 
junglejim1949 wrote:
Jewish Mistress

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I
want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we
get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more
wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.
Jewish Mistress br br A Jewish husband and wife w... (show quote)



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Jun 28, 2018 22:22:03   #
10MPlayer Loc: California
 
I've heard that a lot of comics don't work colleges anymore because the students are so tuned into their microaggressions and safe spaces that they've lost their sense of humor. Whether the joke was about a Jewish couple or Italians or Polish people it was funny. I believe the Jewish person who posted above understood the dynamic that made it work as a Jewish joke.

Now if the joke had used some negative stereotype about Jews that would have been different. But it didn't. Nothing there about being cheap, etc. Even though Seinfeld did that kind of humor in a gentle way all the time and it was funny. ie. "They bought ice. Can you believe they paid for ice?" Hilarious.

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Jun 28, 2018 23:22:26   #
Mr palmer Loc: Currently: Colorado, USA, Terra, Sol
 
Thanks Burtzy, I was loathe to mention this. There are real cultural differences, many worth celebrating and enjoying. Comedians find their way into these crevices and then drag them into our hearts so we can enjoy the wonderful variety of the human species. Not all of our differences need to be causes for argument - we can also make some of them causes for laughter and joy.

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Jun 29, 2018 00:35:50   #
junglejim1949 Loc: Sacramento,CA
 
Nicely said. I agree that differences should bring laughter and joy.

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Jun 29, 2018 02:24:34   #
shagbat Loc: London
 
Burtzy wrote:
I disagree...at least as a Jewish man. It's a cultural thing. Jewish wives, mine included have a possessive style about them that makes the joke funnier when the
"Ours" is the punchline. If you're not Jewish, the joke still works but on a wholly different level. You kind of need to grow up in a New York Jewish family and see the dynamic to understand. The Borscht Belt comic Henny Youngman said..."Take my wife...Please!" Without his beleaguered Jewish husband, hangdog look, the joke would fall flat.
I disagree...at least as a Jewish man. It's a cul... (show quote)



Thanks Burtzy, that is the very point I wanted to make. Here's another.

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.

One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."


Now, does the Jewish community have jokes about Gentiles? I'm sure they must. It would be great if you could amuse us with some.
Shalom.

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Jun 29, 2018 08:53:37   #
junglejim1949 Loc: Sacramento,CA
 
Very good! 🤣😂🤣😅

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Jun 29, 2018 11:55:17   #
Diocletian
 
Texcaster wrote:
"An orange serial bankrupt and his third wife ... "


Is it funnier when it's too close to the truth?

....

.....

Ok, the answer is....YES!

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Jun 29, 2018 12:00:25   #
Diocletian
 
Tronjo wrote:
There are as many Jewish cultures as are countries in the world, plus some more If you think otherwise, do some reading. BTW, the joke is flat, with or without the Jewish part.


Let's replace the Jewish couple with a Catholic couple

The beautiful young woman with a beautiful little boy

And 'mistress' with..'just a kid I've been molesting this year'....

Anybody insulted?

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Jun 29, 2018 12:53:11   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
Here is a groaner but but it takes the Jews out on the equation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two vampires were fed up with their peasant victims in Transylvania.
They decide to fly to Venice because they'd heard that Italian food was really good.

On a bridge over one of the canals, they hid in the shadows and waited for dinner.
A few minutes later, a young couple strolled by.
Each vampire grabbed one, sucked them dry and tossed the bodies into the canal below.

They were extremely pleased with their meal and decided to have "secondi."

A few minutes later, another young couple approached and suffered the same fate as the first. Drained and tossed into the canal.

Our vampires, now fairly full, decide to go for dessert.
In a short while a third young couple provided just that.

The vampires, full at last, start to walk away.
They stop suddenly when they hear what sounds like crooning coming from under the bridge.
Looking over the rail they see, to their surprise, an alligator feasting on the bodies.
Singing, as only Italian gators can,

"Drained Wops keep fallin' on my head..."

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Jun 29, 2018 14:10:07   #
Diocletian
 
BBurns wrote:
Here is a groaner but but it takes the Jews out on the equation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two vampires were fed up with their peasant victims in Transylvania.
They decide to fly to Venice because they'd heard that Italian food was really good.

On a bridge over one of the canals, they hid in the shadows and waited for dinner.
A few minutes later, a young couple strolled by.
Each vampire grabbed one, sucked them dry and tossed the bodies into the canal below.

They were extremely pleased with their meal and decided to have "secondi."

A few minutes later, another young couple approached and suffered the same fate as the first. Drained and tossed into the canal.

Our vampires, now fairly full, decide to go for dessert.
In a short while a third young couple provided just that.

The vampires, full at last, start to walk away.
They stop suddenly when they hear what sounds like crooning coming from under the bridge.
Looking over the rail they see, to their surprise, an alligator feasting on the bodies.
Singing, as only Italian gators can,

"Drained Wops keep fallin' on my head..."
Here is a groaner but but it takes the Jews out on... (show quote)


Oh great, now we're insulting the poor aligators? Just start looking under the bed before you go to sleep

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