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Laws of the Universe
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Aug 10, 2016 11:30:37   #
markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ
 
ebbote wrote:
The funny part Mark is that all of them are absolutely true, thanks for posting.



Mark

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Aug 10, 2016 12:07:47   #
Flyerace Loc: Mt Pleasant, WI
 
These are so true, especially #6 and #17. That is why I have phones in both bathrooms and when I find something I like, I buy all of it because I know what will happen. Thanks for the chuckle.

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Aug 10, 2016 12:15:02   #
pilgrim1951 Loc: New Jersey
 
"13. Law of Physical Surfaces-
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug."

Read this while a crew is installing new carpet in our office. Had to pass it on to everyone.

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Aug 10, 2016 13:18:00   #
DickC Loc: NE Washington state
 
Yep, new to me too, thanks for sharing!!!

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Aug 10, 2016 13:32:39   #
markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ
 
My pleasure. Glad you all enjoyed it.
Mark
DickC wrote:
Yep, new to me too, thanks for sharing!!!

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Aug 11, 2016 07:40:15   #
infocus Loc: Australia
 
markngolf wrote:
Apparently, these have been around for awhile. I had not seen them. Still laughing!
Mark

1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Law of Variation -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7. Law of Close Encounters-
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10 . Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena-
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13. Law of Physical Surfaces-
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14. Law of Logical Argument-
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Law of Physical Appearance-
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16. Law of Public Speaking --
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18. Law of Doctors' -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Apparently, these have been around for awhile. I h... (show quote)


I can relate to all of those - am I in trouble? LoL

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Aug 11, 2016 08:15:58   #
markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ
 
Defintely!!
infocus wrote:
I can relate to all of those - am I in trouble? LoL

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Aug 11, 2016 08:56:56   #
boberic Loc: Quiet Corner, Connecticut. Ex long Islander
 
19.The law of heavy tool names. Any tool that you drop and crushes your toes, immediately is renamed the "OH SHIT" tool.

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Aug 11, 2016 10:19:39   #
markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ
 
boberic wrote:
19.The law of heavy tool names. Any tool that you drop and crushes your toes, immediately is renamed the "OH SHIT" tool.



I also have a few other invective's that automatically come out of my mouth. LOL

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