Laws of the Universe
Aug 9, 2016 10:46:43 #
Apparently, these have been around for awhile. I had not seen them. Still laughing!
Mark
1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Law of Variation -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters-
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10 . Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena-
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces-
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14. Law of Logical Argument-
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance-
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16. Law of Public Speaking --
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18. Law of Doctors' -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Mark
1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Law of Variation -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters-
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10 . Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena-
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces-
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14. Law of Logical Argument-
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance-
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16. Law of Public Speaking --
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18. Law of Doctors' -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Aug 9, 2016 10:53:40 #
Aug 9, 2016 11:02:56 #
alliebess wrote:
New to me - and they got my work day off to a cheerful start!
Mark
Aug 9, 2016 11:08:37 #
Aug 9, 2016 11:20:10 #
Aug 9, 2016 11:21:58 #
Aug 9, 2016 11:28:06 #
I thought some might enjoy them.
Glad some of you did.
Thanks for letting me know everyone.
Mark
Glad some of you did.
Thanks for letting me know everyone.
Mark
jack schade wrote:
These are great. I had not seen them before.
Jack
Jack
Aug 10, 2016 07:43:22 #
Aug 10, 2016 08:45:32 #
Aug 10, 2016 10:02:17 #
Aug 10, 2016 10:34:20 #
Howdy......
I worked in heavy truck and trailer repair for almost 40 years.
I can honestly say #1 and #2 are the honest truth!!!
Vern...
I worked in heavy truck and trailer repair for almost 40 years.
I can honestly say #1 and #2 are the honest truth!!!
Vern...
Aug 10, 2016 10:50:49 #
Number 12 - Murphy's Law of Lockers, also applies to the wide aisles in places like Costco and Walmart. If there are only two people in the aisle, they will park their carts adjacent to each other and spend time looking for whatever it is they want.
Aug 10, 2016 11:08:50 #
jaycoffman
Loc: San Diego
Thanks, I have a collection of these but had never seen this particular set. I must say that #12, Law of Lockers really hits home. At least once a week and often more it happens at our Y. It is a constant source of amusement to all of us but the most dour.
Aug 10, 2016 11:21:02 #
Thanks all!! Glad you enjoyed them
Mark
Mark
jaycoffman wrote:
Thanks, I have a collection of these but had never seen this particular set. I must say that #12, Law of Lockers really hits home. At least once a week and often more it happens at our Y. It is a constant source of amusement to all of us but the most dour.
Aug 10, 2016 11:21:12 #
The funny part Mark is that all of them are absolutely true, thanks for posting.
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