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British humour
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May 6, 2016 08:54:48   #
lateron Loc: Yorkshire, England
 
DragonsLady wrote:
I liked it. British humor is an acquired taste - like anchovies or squid. I like anchovies but dislike squid and I definitely like British humor. Thanks for posting it and thanks to admin for getting it into the correct forum.


I too appreciate the humour, and I'm an admirer of John Cleese A man too little appreciated IMHO.

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May 6, 2016 09:05:39   #
rmalarz Loc: Tempe, Arizona
 
Mac wrote:
Wrong forum section.


Which one would suggest would be the correct forum?
--Bob

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May 6, 2016 09:22:01   #
theobennett Loc: Sumatra
 
Crikey...! And what's the PC threat level among the scant and churlish few members who are demanding we obey DER RULE UF ORDER...?
Of course, they're the chaps in leather trousers, holding Leicas at the ready and wearing spikes on their helmets...!
..

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May 6, 2016 09:50:49   #
richard-sports Loc: New York City
 
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

this is hysterical

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May 6, 2016 09:54:13   #
richard-sports Loc: New York City
 
chaman wrote:
Not funny AND in the wrong section. So the new rule is post whatever you want in whatever section you like as long as it is funny. In other forums such behavior would merit a ban, repeated times like a lot love doing here would merit a permaban.


Lighten up,, this is funny stuff.

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May 6, 2016 09:55:05   #
NeilL Loc: British-born Canadian
 
rogerl wrote:
so you want me to leave then ...! Pity about your sense of humour.


These forum police have no sense of humour. Thanks for posting this, Roger.

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May 6, 2016 10:03:37   #
EdJ0307 Loc: out west someplace
 
I found this to be humorous and in the correct section. However, on posts like this I always wonder if it really was from the person that it is attributed to. I found a couple of websites that claim John Cleese did not author these comments and they did not say who did. Of course, those websites may be incorrect. After all, it is the internet and you can't believe anything on the web.

Here is what Snopes has to say about it:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/terrorismalert.asp

Of course, a lot of people think Snopes is full of crap.

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May 6, 2016 10:26:56   #
Toby
 
rogerl wrote:
Very politically incorrect, and, you need to be able to laugh at yourself, but saying all that, it is funny. No country is exempt from the "Mickey Taking". It is good to be able to laugh at yourself, as well as others. In England we have a saying "If you can't laugh at yourself, don't laugh at others".


ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2014 EUROPE
From JOHN CLEESE [John Cleese was one of the Monty Python gang]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
Very politically incorrect, and, you need to be ab... (show quote)


I absolutely love it. Having had many business trips to the UK I love your rather dry sense of humor. I particularly liked the comments on the French. During one visit one of your drivers said to me, "ah the French, if it hadn't been for us (UK) and you Yanks the bastards would be doing the Goose step". My favorite is from the French "go ahead and fight we will be right BEHIND YOU"

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May 6, 2016 10:46:30   #
tenbanshee Loc: Woodstock, IL
 
I guess from now on I should just read the first post and skip reading the rest of it!
Good Humor!

Reply
May 6, 2016 11:12:57   #
Bud Black
 
Personally, I thought it was quite funny. But then, I love British humor.

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May 6, 2016 11:27:56   #
DickC Loc: NE Washington state
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Reply
 
 
May 6, 2016 11:50:24   #
wolfd Loc: Vancouver, Canada
 
rogerl wrote:
Very politically incorrect, and, you need to be able to laugh at yourself, but saying all that, it is funny. No country is exempt from the "Mickey Taking". It is good to be able to laugh at yourself, as well as others. In England we have a saying "If you can't laugh at yourself, don't laugh at others".


ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2014 EUROPE
From JOHN CLEESE [John Cleese was one of the Monty Python gang]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
Very politically incorrect, and, you need to be ab... (show quote)


Hilarious !!!
Thanks for sharing.

Reply
May 6, 2016 12:06:05   #
letmedance Loc: Walnut, Ca.
 
chaman wrote:
Not funny AND in the wrong section. So the new rule is post whatever you want in whatever section you like as long as it is funny. In other forums such behavior would merit a ban, repeated times like a lot love doing here would merit a permaban.


When a person gets so upset at a simple mistake, some would think that you are angry about the Subject matter of the post.

Reply
May 6, 2016 12:08:17   #
GRIZ357 Loc: Texas
 
rogerl wrote:
Very politically incorrect, and, you need to be able to laugh at yourself, but saying all that, it is funny. No country is exempt from the "Mickey Taking". It is good to be able to laugh at yourself, as well as others. In England we have a saying "If you can't laugh at yourself, don't laugh at others".


ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2014 EUROPE
From JOHN CLEESE [John Cleese was one of the Monty Python gang]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
Very politically incorrect, and, you need to be ab... (show quote)


Thanks for sharing - Typical Monty Python Miss them.

Reply
May 6, 2016 12:38:14   #
gwdupree
 
Is some dude trying to censor? Not cool. Has your funny bone been surgically removed?

I got a good laugh out of it.

Reply
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