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I miss Rodney Dangerfield
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Dec 12, 2014 06:26:08   #
Sirsnapalot Loc: Hammond, Louisiana
 
My wife can't cook, at my house we pray after we eat!

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Dec 12, 2014 06:38:24   #
Sirsnapalot Loc: Hammond, Louisiana
 
I get no respect, when I called suicide prevention, they tried to talk me into it!

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Dec 12, 2014 07:38:25   #
Tom Kelley Loc: Roanoke, Virginia
 
Sirsnapalot wrote:
I get no respect, when I called suicide prevention, they tried to talk me into it!


This Man was truly gifted. It wasn't just what he said, it was how he said it that made him so funny. His jokes were short one liners that only he could deliver. When i listened to him, i would get tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, and still do when i read his jokes. Some people can be funny if they try, some are naturally funny and couldn't be any other way even if they tried. I would have loved to have seen him as he was writing his jokes, i'm sure he laughed at himself while he was doing it.

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Dec 12, 2014 07:51:27   #
farjie53 Loc: Australia
 
Who can forget..

"I said to my mother, everyone hates me, she said, don't be silly, you haven't met everyone yet.

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Dec 12, 2014 07:56:00   #
Sirsnapalot Loc: Hammond, Louisiana
 
tdklex wrote:
This Man was truly gifted. It wasn't just what he said, it was how he said it that made him so funny. His jokes were short one liners that only he could deliver. When i listened to him, i would get tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, and still do when i read his jokes. Some people can be funny if they try, some are naturally funny and couldn't be any other way even if they tried. I would have loved to have seen him as he was writing his jokes, i'm sure he laughed at himself while he was doing it.
This Man was truly gifted. It wasn't just what he... (show quote)


Yep, a very funny man!
Spent some time at Pirates Cove Marina this summer, fishing and taking in the sites. Roanoke Island, very historic place!

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Dec 12, 2014 08:01:51   #
Makaipi Loc: Lexington, South Carolina
 
Once back in the' 70's in NYC, there was a Seaman's club run by the Catholic Church by Lexington and Park Ave. it was called Cardinal Spellman's. One afternoon while a few of us were chomping on some snacks, in walks Rodney Dangerfield and Ed Sullivan! This was a small place no big auditorium. I shook Mr. Dangerfield's hand and just started laughing! He hadn't said two words! Nicest guy you ever want to meet! So he and Ed Sullivan put on a small show for us and we much appreciated it. I may stand corrected here, but I believe Ed Sullivan died a couple weeks later. If so we may have witnessed his last show. But as I say the memory can get muddled.

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Dec 12, 2014 08:48:34   #
swimbob Loc: Columbia, S.C.
 
I remember the first time I had sex, boy was I scared...I was all alone.

My wife's a lousy cook. Last week the flies pitched in to fix the hole in the screen door.

I told the bell hop at the hotel to grab my bags...he started feeling up my wife! I said who said you could do that? He replied "Everybody!"

My daughter was voted most likely to conceive.

I told the cabby to take me to where the action is. He took me to my house!

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Dec 12, 2014 08:48:46   #
stephgc Loc: Texas
 
He was the best saw him in Vegas

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Dec 12, 2014 09:28:43   #
nairiam Loc: Bonnie Scotland
 
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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Dec 12, 2014 09:29:04   #
Dick Z. Loc: Downers Grove IL
 
mlj wrote:
Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield..........

Because he said ....

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said,
'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said,
'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger.
That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray "after" the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.

MY FAVORITE:

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield.......... br br Be... (show quote)


Yea, a lot of us miss Rodney. I really enjoyed him on the Tonight Show. Nice one liners, thanks for sharing.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Dec 12, 2014 09:43:40   #
crissx09 Loc: FL-USA
 
Hi everybody:
Thanks for the Rodney memories and happy holidays
to everyone.

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Dec 12, 2014 10:03:15   #
Caribou Loc: St. Louis, MO
 
I agree--Rodney Dangerfield was very funny. My favorite: I went to a psychiatrist. He said I was crazy. I said " If you don't mind, Doc, I'd like a second opinion". He said "OK, you're ugly, too"

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Dec 12, 2014 10:16:30   #
banjonut Loc: Southern Michigan
 
I'm
mlj wrote:
Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield..........

Because he said ....

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said,
'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said,
'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger.
That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray "after" the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.

MY FAVORITE:

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield.......... br br Be... (show quote)


Certainly one of a kind. I miss his humor.

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Dec 12, 2014 10:31:06   #
blacks2 Loc: SF. Bay area
 
InNever get tired of hearing these. Thanks for posting.

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Dec 12, 2014 10:52:56   #
Jazztrader
 
ROFLMAO!!! :thumbup:

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