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"I'm Calling from the Windows Department."
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Dec 24, 2021 09:27:24   #
jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY
 
Lens Cap wrote:
My Dad gets these calls and knows whats going on, but here is how it plays out....

The guy on the phone: turn on your computer.

Dad: OK, it will take a minute or so...

The guy on the phone: I don't see your computer yet, is it on?

Dad: yes it's on.

The guy on the phone: Try rebooting your internet

Dad: Ahhhh.... internet?

The guy on the phone: It's how you get online and look at your email etc.

Dad: Oh...I'm not hooked up to the internet

The guy on the phone:....Click!
My Dad gets these calls and knows whats going on, ... (show quote)


Excellent!

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Dec 24, 2021 09:36:30   #
Stephan G
 
luvmypets wrote:
I do the same, occasionally. I especially like messing with the one that calls about donating to the police fund. I ask them a lot of questions about where the money goes and never get a straight answer. At the end I tell them that there is a police officer who lives across the street and that if I give him money then I know 100% of my money goes to the police. I don't think I'm very popular with those people.

I do, however, donate money to the police by sending it with the police officer friend of my neighbor. 100% donated to the police!!!

Dodie
I do the same, occasionally. I especially like mes... (show quote)


Hope you state first with handing the cash: "This not a bribe, officially and otherwise."

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Dec 24, 2021 13:20:42   #
LinHSNW
 
I used to say, "I'm glad you called. Do you sell anything that gets blood out of curtains?", but I've mellowed, so now I ask, "Do you sell anything that gets snot out of oatmeal?" Pretty much a tie for the shortest conversation.

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Dec 24, 2021 14:16:34   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
"Please turn on your computer"

"OK"

"Do you have Windows or a Mac?"

"It's on a table next to a window. Is that OK?"

"Click"


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Dec 24, 2021 14:20:43   #
Longshadow Loc: Audubon, PA, United States
 
LinHSNW wrote:
I used to say, "I'm glad you called. Do you sell anything that gets blood out of curtains?", but I've mellowed, so now I ask, "Do you sell anything that gets snot out of oatmeal?" Pretty much a tie for the shortest conversation.


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Dec 24, 2021 14:23:42   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
Longshadow wrote:

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Dec 24, 2021 14:57:21   #
Jim Plogger Loc: East Tennessee
 
I got one of those calls from “Weendows” a couple of nights ago telling me that there was a problem with my computer. I told the guy that I didn’t have “Weendows”. I told him that I developed my own OS called Digitally Operated Open Reiteration System. I call it DOORS. I explained that it uses a special processor that I built called Wide Universal Design. I told him that I simply called it a WUD chip. I further explained that I could open several DOORS at once due to a graphic device called High Intensity Neutron Graphic Engine and that I have three of them installed. I told him that I refer to them as HINGES. They guy hung up on me!

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Dec 24, 2021 15:02:06   #
luvmypets Loc: Born & raised Texan living in Fayetteville NC
 
Stephan G wrote:
Hope you state first with handing the cash: "This not a bribe, officially and otherwise."


LOL!!! I just tell him I want to donate and to put it into one of the funds. He chooses where to put it. Next time I see him I'll have to ask him if the first time I donated if he thought I was offering him a bribe. I'm sure he will get a good laugh out of it.

Dodie

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Dec 24, 2021 15:06:18   #
luvmypets Loc: Born & raised Texan living in Fayetteville NC
 
Jim Plogger wrote:
I got one of those calls from “Weendows” a couple of nights ago telling me that there was a problem with my computer. I told the guy that I didn’t have “Weendows”. I told him that I developed my own OS called Digitally Operated Open Reiteration System. I call it DOORS. I explained that it uses a special processor that I built called Wide Universal Design. I told him that I simply called it a WUD chip. I further explained that I could open several DOORS at once due to a graphic device called High Intensity Neutron Graphic Engine and that I have three of them installed. I told him that I refer to them as HINGES. They guy hung up on me!
I got one of those calls from “Weendows” a couple ... (show quote)


ROTFLMAO!!!! I love it!!! I need to print this out and use it the next one I get.

Once I got a call about Windows and I told them I didn't have Windows that I had a Mac. He said that wasn't a problem he could still fix my computer. I called him an idiot and hung up.

Dodie

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Dec 24, 2021 15:15:07   #
Jim Plogger Loc: East Tennessee
 
luvmypets wrote:
ROTFLMAO!!!! I love it!!! I need to print this out and use it the next one I get.

Once I got a call about Windows and I told them I didn't have Windows that I had a Mac. He said that wasn't a problem he could still fix my computer. I called him an idiot and hung up.

Dodie


Be my guest.

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Dec 24, 2021 15:30:03   #
Longshadow Loc: Audubon, PA, United States
 
Jim Plogger wrote:
I got one of those calls from “Weendows” a couple of nights ago telling me that there was a problem with my computer. I told the guy that I didn’t have “Weendows”. I told him that I developed my own OS called Digitally Operated Open Reiteration System. I call it DOORS. I explained that it uses a special processor that I built called Wide Universal Design. I told him that I simply called it a WUD chip. I further explained that I could open several DOORS at once due to a graphic device called High Intensity Neutron Graphic Engine and that I have three of them installed. I told him that I refer to them as HINGES. They guy hung up on me!
I got one of those calls from “Weendows” a couple ... (show quote)


ROFL

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Dec 24, 2021 23:53:35   #
burkphoto Loc: High Point, NC
 
jerryc41 wrote:
I just a call like that. I replied, "Oh, I thought you were calling about windows for the house. I don't have a computer. Merry Christmas!"


I just tell them I have a Mac, and they hang up.

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Dec 26, 2021 14:43:14   #
wolfd Loc: Vancouver, Canada
 
I told them I am using a Macintosh, whereupon they hung up on me.

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Dec 28, 2021 00:54:43   #
Sarco
 
I also used to string them along for as long as possible but I now have a much shorter routine, at least for male scammers. I simply ask them why their kind have such small penises. It evokes some interesting responses.

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Dec 28, 2021 02:20:58   #
Laramie Loc: Tempe
 
I played with a caller once. After a while he asked me: "Are you fu$(ing with me?" I replied that I was, he growled under his breath and hung up. We only get calls about extended warranties now, and they are robocalls, so I just hang up.

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