Good Lawyer Jokes
Sep 8, 2012 23:37:11 #
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___
UHH ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___
UHH ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
Sep 9, 2012 00:51:45 #
DougW
Loc: SoCal
What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a bitten dwelling scum sucking scavenger, the other one is a fish.
A: One is a bitten dwelling scum sucking scavenger, the other one is a fish.
Sep 9, 2012 05:31:28 #
I have many good friens who are attorneys ... and they resemble those remarks!
Sep 9, 2012 07:18:38 #
Sep 9, 2012 08:07:34 #
It was so cold the other day,that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pocket.
Sep 9, 2012 09:37:04 #
Sneidley
Loc: Goodyear, AZ
Do any of you know how many lawyer jokes there are?
Only three, the rest are all true.
Only three, the rest are all true.
Sep 9, 2012 09:46:42 #
Does anyone stop to think most of the people who govern our country have a law degree?
Sep 9, 2012 10:00:36 #
DougW
Loc: SoCal
Do you know what 100 lawyers chained to a giant rock and thrown in the ocean is?
A: " A good start "
A: " A good start "
Sep 9, 2012 10:48:04 #
We have actually found a way to put lawyers to good use.
Speed bumps.
Speed bumps.
Sep 9, 2012 11:44:27 #
PrairieSeasons wrote:
We have actually found a way to put lawyers to good use.
Speed bumps.
Speed bumps.
I hate speed bumps......a humm
Sep 9, 2012 11:56:41 #
Sep 9, 2012 13:55:05 #
Wabbit
Loc: Arizona Desert
BW326 wrote:
I have many good friens who are attorneys ... and they resemble those remarks!
Hey Doc ..... after today you'll have to say used ta have .....
Sep 9, 2012 14:37:59 #
For the lawer who get's no respect: One night a lawer's house caught on fire, the wife quietly get's out of bed and get's the children and as they passed the master bedroom, the wife say's to the children "shh...Quiet kids, you'll wake up daddy"
Sep 9, 2012 22:58:24 #
DougW
Loc: SoCal
Guy walks into a bar cussing and stomping, gruffly orders a large whisky from the bar tender and angerly drinks it and is mumbling and growling. The bar tender asks what the problem is. The customer starts to cuss and growl and says f***king lawyers are a bunch of assholes. A man at the other end of the bar loudly yells " I object to that!" The angry customer yells " Why!? are you a lawyer?"The other guy says " No! I'm a asshole!"
Sep 9, 2012 23:05:34 #
I hear that when lawyers die, they bury 'em deep...cause deep down, they're not bad people :shock:
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