alamomike47 Loc: San Antonio, Texas

Liked the last one the best.

Quaking Aspen Loc: Cottage Grove, OR

A mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms here."
The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi."

BrianFlaherty Loc: Wilseyville, CA

You're to blame for all this, Graham. . .So, here goes:

Two guys are having a couple beers; and, don't say a word to each other. . .About the same time they get off their stools and head to the Men's Room. Standing at the urinals and making water, one guy finally breaks the silence. "I'm guessing you're a local boy from around here" "Yup!" I'm guessing you live over near Fourth Street." "Yup!" "Not far from North Main Street?" "Yup!" "You're Jewish." "Yup!" And, you attend services at Temple Beth Israel?" "Yup. . .Say, you're pretty sharp at spotting folks' personal information. How do you do that?" "Well, Rabbi Schmul is the head man over there; and, he circumcises on an angle.. . .And, you're pissing on my shoe!"

Shel Loc: Lecanto FL

Great that you provided the translation to non-Brooklynites.
I left Brooklyn 60 years ago, but was careful to keep my accent.

lmTrying Loc: WV Northern Panhandle

All you guys would have enjoyed the bathrooms in the bars around Kent State University.

Here's one:
Written down low on the wall to the right side of a urinal, "while you are reading this you are are pi$$ing on the right foot of the guy on your left."

Another:
"Pi$$ fast, these crabs swim upstream."