Limericks
Apr 21, 2019 12:41:04 #
A young man was making his girl on the stair
on the 44th stroke the banister broke
and he finished her off in midair
on the 44th stroke the banister broke
and he finished her off in midair
Apr 21, 2019 12:48:10 #
FrankR
Loc: NYC
One night a gay man in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They stayed up all night
Had one hell of a fight
Over who could do what
And to whom.
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They stayed up all night
Had one hell of a fight
Over who could do what
And to whom.
Apr 21, 2019 14:28:26 #
most of the Limerick's I know are too obscene for this forum. One that's not quite a Limerick and is not too obscene to post is:
Suzie Smith put on her skates
Upon the ice to frisk.
Her friends thought she was slightly nuts,
Her little *
[read it out loud]
Suzie Smith put on her skates
Upon the ice to frisk.
Her friends thought she was slightly nuts,
Her little *
[read it out loud]
Apr 21, 2019 15:08:19 #
I submit a few from my collection of drivel to the list.
There was a young man from Troon
Who farted and filled a balloon.
The gas drove it so high,
as it flew through the sky,
That it stank out the Man in the Moon.
There was a young lad named Brand
Who thought caressing himself was so grand.
But he viewed with distaste, the gelatinous paste,
That it left in the palm of his hand.
A strange young fellow from Leeds,
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds.
There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather They’d clang together
And sparks would fly out of his ass!
There was a young man from Troon
Who farted and filled a balloon.
The gas drove it so high,
as it flew through the sky,
That it stank out the Man in the Moon.
There was a young lad named Brand
Who thought caressing himself was so grand.
But he viewed with distaste, the gelatinous paste,
That it left in the palm of his hand.
A strange young fellow from Leeds,
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds.
There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather They’d clang together
And sparks would fly out of his ass!
Apr 21, 2019 16:21:20 #
Phil Martin
Loc: New Hampshire
There was a young gal from Sri Lanka
Who slept while her ship lay at anchor.
She awoke is dismay
When she heard the mate say,
"Lift up the top sheet and spanker!"
Who slept while her ship lay at anchor.
She awoke is dismay
When she heard the mate say,
"Lift up the top sheet and spanker!"
Apr 21, 2019 16:32:24 #
Phil Martin
Loc: New Hampshire
There was a young gal from Sri Lanka
Who slept while her ship lay an anchor.
She awoke in dismay
When she heard the mate say,
"Lift up the top sheet and spanker!"
Who slept while her ship lay an anchor.
She awoke in dismay
When she heard the mate say,
"Lift up the top sheet and spanker!"
Apr 21, 2019 16:35:16 #
Phil Martin
Loc: New Hampshire
There was a young fellow named Clarence
Who Simonized both of his parents.
"The initial expense,"
He remarked, "is immense,
But I'll save it or wearance and tearance."
Who Simonized both of his parents.
"The initial expense,"
He remarked, "is immense,
But I'll save it or wearance and tearance."
Apr 21, 2019 16:37:09 #
Phil Martin
Loc: New Hampshire
Once a young man from Calcutta
Coated his tonsils with butter,
Thus converting his snore
From a thunderous roar
To a soft, oleaginous mutter.
Coated his tonsils with butter,
Thus converting his snore
From a thunderous roar
To a soft, oleaginous mutter.
Apr 21, 2019 17:06:01 #
How's this for mixing Fine Art with poetry ?
When Titian was mixing his matter
His model was perched on a ladder.
Said Titian "her position
Seems ripe for coition."
So he upped the ladder and had her.
When Titian was mixing his matter
His model was perched on a ladder.
Said Titian "her position
Seems ripe for coition."
So he upped the ladder and had her.
Apr 21, 2019 17:36:52 #
There was a young man from Gosham
Who took out his balls to washam
His wife said Jack
If you dont put them back
I'll stand on the buggers and squasham
Rubbish really but fun as there is no such place as Gosham I believe.
Who took out his balls to washam
His wife said Jack
If you dont put them back
I'll stand on the buggers and squasham
Rubbish really but fun as there is no such place as Gosham I believe.
Apr 21, 2019 21:39:12 #
Manny Jay
Loc: Colorado
(My favorite. I don't know why.)
There was a man tore his hide
to see what he was made of inside.
He ripped and he tore, til his hands ran with gore,
but before he found out...… he died.
There was a man tore his hide
to see what he was made of inside.
He ripped and he tore, til his hands ran with gore,
but before he found out...… he died.
Apr 21, 2019 22:41:59 #
Apr 21, 2019 22:43:36 #
Phil Martin wrote:
I've a message for Donald J. Trump,
A second-rate loser and chump.
As memory serves,
What he really deserves
Is a good swift kick in the rump.
A second-rate loser and chump.
As memory serves,
What he really deserves
Is a good swift kick in the rump.
If you want to whine about politics, go to the attic where there’s company.
Apr 21, 2019 22:46:31 #
ottopj wrote:
Pathetic: What's your limerick. You're so quick to judge! Or, is your comment your signature?
If you want to whine about politics, go to the attic where there’s company.
Apr 22, 2019 01:08:13 #
I've always been fond of this one:
The bustard's an exquisite fowl,
with minimal reason to growl.
He escapes what would be Illegitimacy
By grace of a fortunate vowel.
The bustard's an exquisite fowl,
with minimal reason to growl.
He escapes what would be Illegitimacy
By grace of a fortunate vowel.
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