E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

“I have been asked to photograph a family wedding...I have little experience...I brought my camera to a few weddings and took some candid shots of my friends... they liked them... I have 2 bodies and 12 lenses and 1 speedlight...what camera- lens-flash should I use? Should I set the camera on program or manual...??? Can you send me a list of shots to take”?

Questions like these appear on this forum and many others quite regularly . My first reaction is to recall the venerated advice of my grandmother and “mind my own business, shut my big mouth and go away”! And of course, “If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all”! As a long time dyed in the wool professional wedding shooter and the assistant manager on the esteemed Hog wedding section, I always feel compelled to offer my advice- sometimes much to the disdain and/or chagrin of the uninitiated OP.

So...what do I do? What is my process? Well, if the OP is an experienced wedding photographer, he would not be asking those question so I assume he or she is an amateur or perhaps an advanced photographer who excels at something other than or far removed from weddings.

My first inclination it to dissuade this photographer from undertaking such an assignment without the prerequisite savvy, experience, chutzpah, equipment, know how and all that good stuff. If that does not deter them, I continue to explain the ramifications of a failed wedding shoot such as disownment by their families, banishment by their friends, a nasty and financially disastrous lawsuit, and, at very least, a whole lot of embarrassment.

Sometimes they listen to me but oftentimes they won't. Erstwhile, they are egged on and encouraged by other posters to carry on , after all “it ain't rocket science or brain surgery”! The advice ensues and some of it is good and some of it is bad- very bad!

The photographers who agree with me and the other dissuader's advice and proceed to convince their family member or friend to engage the service of a professional, however, many agree but plead extenuating circumstances- there are many: The couple can in no way afford a professional. Or...they now realize the should have hired a professional but the wedding is 2 days off- a fine time to be asking technical advice! The “original” photographer became indisposed, incapacitated, has passed away, gone bankrupt, was devoured by an army of red ants on his last nature shoot, was carried off to a distant universe by aliens, has reneged on their contract, backed out, was murdered in his sleep by a disgruntled bride (client) or otherwise disappeared. The OP, therefore feels duty-bound to march into battle. At that that point, as a Good Samaritan, I feel compelled to advise on some fail-safe methods, show some pictures, fire off some diagrams and pray for their salvation.

Really, I do hope and pray for their success. I want them to prove me wrong and post some fabulous images of that wedding- I don't mind being wrong, at least for the sake of that bride and groom and this photographer's hide. Perhaps they will experience a wave of beginners luck or are suddenly able to unleash some unknown talent. So far, this hasn't happened.

So...the fateful day arrives and YOU, being the family photo guru of excellent repute- known for your outstanding imagery of birds and bridges and Uncle Oscar's last birthday party are “drafted”! It's your favorite niece's wedding.. You would rater take you own appendix out or even pay for a professional to cover the glorious event but they insist in YOU! So...how do you get out of it even after diplomacy fails. Here's my foolproof system:

Tell them that your will take on the job but first they have to secure written permission form the church or officiating authorities and the reception venue management for you to bring in your VERY large format cameras, your hydraulic platform lift and drone cameras for those high angle shots. Ask what their feeling are about the use of flash powder! Make certain they know that you don't believe in those little speedlights and your smallest flash unit puts out 2400 watt-seconds- and you have 6 or them.

Next show them photographs of your well attired and amiable assistants and second shooters.

If they don't relent, just tell then that you insist on injecting each member of the bridal party, just prior to the ceremony, with a radioactive material that causes them to glow in the dark. This is handy in case flash is prohibited in a dark church and will make for a cool special effect, especially if there are no sparklers or the DJ or the venue doesn't have some of those nifty laser lights or mirrored balls.

Oh, and all clients have to get passed the studio cat who does our credit checks, and draws up all our contracts.

If you don't have theses visual materials on hand, please feel free to use the little “brochure” I will post in the next reply box.

OK folks, I do hope y'all have a sense of humor or can appreciate mine. There is an underlying moral. I am told that as we age, the sudden appearance of a warped sense of humor, toward the slapstick kind, may be a sign of the onset of dementia. Problem is, I did this kinda thinking when I was young.

E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

Brochure-

(Download)

lamiaceae Loc: San Luis Obispo County, CA

Like Vietnam one should shout "Hell no, we won't go, hell no, we won't go...". But this is worse as you will be fighting Bridezilla and Motherzilla! Professional wedding photographers exist for a reason. Would you want a weekend hobbyist taxidermist doing brain surgery on you?

E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

So now you tell me not to go! Too late! I went!

illininitt

I take pictures for FUN....a wedding would be too much presure!

illininitt

I take pictures for FUN....a wedding would be too much presure!

SharpShooter Loc: NorCal

Yes, we got it the first time!!!
SS

E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

I still think weddings are fun, even as a photographer, as long as you know what you are doing and take the job seriously and are out there to do your best work.

BHC Loc: Strawberry Valley, JF, USA

As some of you know, I shot quite a few of my ex-wife's relatives weddings, including one interrupted by the bride going into labor during the officiation. I got quite adept at being to capture the bride (in a "delicate" condition), the groom (one of whom wet himself) and the bride's father holding a shotgun (one groom's father brought his own shotgun just to keep things fair). One of these days, I'd love to be invited to help photograph a normal wedding of a couple I don't know. I don't care if I just hold reflectors or haul equipment. It would be a pleasure to see a good photographer at work at a normal wedding!

Resqu2 Loc: SW Va

Story reminds me of something that happened to me some years back. A lady that worked for me had a daughter getting married, outdoor event, beautiful location but the Dad has got laid off and the Mom was working reduced hours. They were doing everything as cheap as possible including there own cooking and everything. She begged me to bring my camera and do what I could. I only had a Canon Rebel with 2 kit lens but it came down to me doing her a favor or no pics at all. I knew and liked the family and finally said ok but don’t expect much and I want no money.

The day finally arrived and the lighting was absolutely perfect. I think I took 400 pics that day and with minor editing they turned out really well. I had the husbands family doing the poses they wanted so I only had to shoot.

In the end they were very happy and threw me some money after I told em not to so I took that and had a few of the best shots framed and gave to the mom the next day.

That said I will never do another wedding for anyone, too stressful and I don’t have the knowledge or equipment to do the best job possible. I will leave it to the experts.

billnikon Loc: Pennsylvania/Ohio/Florida/Maui/Oregon/Vermont

As a wedding photographer for over 40 years I can testify that yes, for me, it was fun. And I carried lots of stuff to make the job easier. But, I am happy to have left that part of my life behind me.
It did not start out that way though, I learned from my mistakes but I also charged little to the bride and the brides were aware of my limitations, they were happiest that I was cheap. As I got better, my prices went up. When I got out of the business I could name my price and got it. That was satisfying but at the same time it I always assumed the responsibility of the job. In the end I had two stringers and a young person to carry our equipment around. One stringer shot only B&W and the other shot candid's.
Again, wedding photography is a young persons job,those 15 hour days of shooting hundreds and hundreds of shots are happily behind me.

delottphoto

I do not shoot sports or wild life. I do not have that skill set nor am I interested in learning. Wedding photography is a whole other skill set. I am very proud of what I have learned over 20+ years. That said, the bride will get what she pays for.

sb Loc: Florida's East Coast

I was asked to photograph a college friends wedding - back when we were in college and I "had a good camera" but little experience. I still feel badly about doing it, and I have no doubt their parents feel worse... It was one of those experiences from which you learn the hard way. And no do-overs. Sorry, Marty.

par4fore Loc: Bay Shore N.Y.

I've been told a few times over the last 40 years' 'YOU SHOULD SHOOT WEDDINGS". I have always had the same answer; "NO WAY, I COULD NOT LIVE WITH MYSELF IF THE BRIDE WAS UNHAPPY AND I RUINED HER DAY". That said I paid a friend with a meal and a few rolls of film to shoot mine in 1978, we just did not have the money. It came out fine, we got some photos and all these years later they are still good enough. So there are two sides to this but I would never be the one on the camera side.

Notorious T.O.D. Loc: Harrisburg, North Carolina

Let me tell the other side of the story. My son and daughter in law got married last May. They hired a Pro with great reviews an a number of weddings to their experience. Had a second shooter too. But was an existing light shooter and I see that as a warning sign. As I observed them shooting I became concerned especially when it came time for the family group shots. They shot only the wedding preparations, wedding and some of the reception. Long story short my kids never received any photos of the wedding from this so called Pro. She disappeared a couple months after the wedding and they have been unable to contact her. Website is gone and she doesn't respond to email or anything. Rumor is that she had some health issues with a parent. Don't know. What I do know is they paid good money and got no product. Not even a disk with the raw shots which I would gladly have edited for them. How hard could it be to mail a disk with the raw shoots if nothing else. I did shoot the rehearsal dinner and some reception shots, but nothing of the ceremony or family shots. Wish I would have but it seemed rather inappropriate at the time. So, you can think are making the right decision and still be at risk of getting burned. That is my point I guess.

Best,
Todd Ferguson