E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

Having to photograph wedding for friends, relations and family have been the BAIN OF MY EXISTENCE throughout my entire life and professional career. That's a nice way of saying "THEY ARE A MONSTROUS PAIN IN THE ASS"!!! Well- that ain't politically correct but it is the God's honest truth!

So...I just did (and still do) the work and continue to do so because it's a " damned if you do and damned of you don't" classic situation! If I do it- I know I'm gonna get screwed and if I don't do it I am gonna get blamed for the screwups of someone else like the "friend with a camera". I know there is no logic in any of this but when it comes to my family and some of my "friends" there IS NO LOGIC!! If I had to sit through a wedding like has been described here, I would probably kill the FWAC and take over or have a stroke and drop dead from frustration! My lovely wife hates it when I do theses events but killing the FWAC or coming to my untimely demise at a family wedding is a worse case scenario!

I am not at all surprised by the events described. Even many serious and talented amateur photographers have no idea of what is actually entailed in covering a wedding. I have some colleagues who are accomplished commercial photographers who would simply fall apart during the fast pace of an average wedding coverage- let alone the riotous atmosphere of a BIG ethnic wedding!

Even if I manage to get paid (by my friends and relatives) or at least reimbursed, I still get the rusty end of the rod! Well- if they paid someone else, they would probably have a bit more respect but who the hell wants to listen to "Uncle Ed", Cousin Eddie (that would be me) let alone "Grandpa" (also AKA me)! So...I get the jobs over with, deliver the albums, go home and cuss under my breath for at least two weeks and swear on my dead relative's graves that I will never be stupid enough to do this again and then I do it anyway.

There is, however, a method to my madness! See- when I was a kid, I was a very bad boy and every time I do one of theses family weddings, I feel that I have died and have gone to HELL and doing my penance! Maybe whenI actually die- I will go to heaven? Family weddings are PURGATORY! I am Jewish and the good rabbi told me we don't have Purgatory- I don't believe that! Well- I ain't gonna get rich or poor from theses occasional encounters! I just forget about all my business savvy and acumen and at least hope for the satisfaction of a job well done under tough circumstances.

I may, sometime soon, declare myself officially RETIRED and refuse to attend all weddings either as the official photographer or even as a guest.

Hey- Sorry for the bad language- in private my cussing is worse! A bad habit I picked up in the army! What do the say about "nice guys finishing last"?

Regards, Ed

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

Yes, this was the first family wedding that I've actually refused. I do think from observation that the guys doing the video that grabbed still shots, captured quite a bit that should save the day. I know that they were actual professional videographers, not FWAC's. We'll see how it plays out, but I do think next time I'll just bite the bullet. I went through a lot of antacid tablets trying to keep my stomach acid in check.

While I'm personally not a swearing guy, I'm married to a delicate flower, who swears like a drunken sailor with Turret's syndrome, so I don't take any offense at all. I just go with the flow.

I really didn't have any idea how boring a wedding can be, when you are used to the fast pace of "working it" I'd much rather be shooting, than sitting. Live and learn.

Good to hear from you.
bk

E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

BK! I think we have something in common in that we hate to see things being done poorly. I have a strange habit or feeling; I get embarrassed for other people when I am watching them mess things up. I know that seems odd but you probably know what I am talking about.

I love your reference to the drunken sailor with a neurological disorder- I am a sober ex-soldier without such a disorder so I have no excuse for my copious use of many Anglo-Saxon colloquialisms. I do however have managed to control myself at weddings where I am a perfect gentleman at all times. I used to wait until I got home and yell at the cat! Since the cat passed away- well it can be rather frustrating. Good thing we don't have a parrot!

If I keep doing weddings for family and friends, eventually I will be hauled off to the local mental health facility (the crazy house)- I just hope there is another wedding photographer in the next padded cell so I have someone to talk to! Gotta have a sense of humor nowadays!

Best regards, Ed

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

I actually work for a mental hospital, so I guess I at least get the employee discount. I knew there was an advantage, it certainly isn't the paycheck.

I will see if they offer a friends and family discount, and would gladly offer it up to you. I could pick your brain (bad pun)

I know how you feel about feeling embarrassed for other people. Maybe that empathy helps us. I also feel the joy that the couple feels on their big day. That is one of those "rushes" that keeps me coming back.

E.L.. Shapiro Loc: Ottawa, Ontario Canada

YES! You are a good man! That VIBE is very important and it makes the difference between a "picture taker" and a real consummate professional wedding photographer. There are lots of shooters that have the technical knowledge but, sadly enough, don't have the "heart"!

So...please feel free to "pick my brain" when ever you like...at least while my brain is still functioning !

Ed