Being a guest: I was a guest at a relative's wedding. I politely refused to do the photos, as this "branch" of the family tree has a way of screwing everyone. I know it isn't nice, but...

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

I was a guest at a relative's wedding. I politely refused to do the photos, as this "branch" of the family tree has a way of screwing everyone. I know it isn't nice, but it is true.

Anyway, they hired a "friend with a camera. (aka FWAC)" As a guest, I didn't take my camera at all, I just wanted to enjoy the ceremony from my seat, like everyone else.

First, I forgot how boring it can be to sit there, when you are used to shooting.

Here's the bad part. The FWAC stood there with her arms crossed during the processional, the ceremony, and the recessional. It was driving me nuts. It also drove the videographers nuts, as I heard one frantically talking to the other saying "should someone tell her", then one of them grabbed the DSLR he was shooting with, and started getting stills. I kid you not.

She then took them outside on a 90degree day and shot formals for almost 2 hours while the guests all waited in the hall. It was so bad, they had to run up and get cold towels and Gatoraid for the bride, as she got very light headed. (mid day, 90ish degrees, full sun, not by the trees or anything)

The same thing happened during the reception, she took no photos. The video guys (who were absolutely super, and I would love to work with them sometime), were grabbing stills again, while the FWAC stood there with her arms crossed, and cried during the father daughter dance, etc.

I couldn't handle it, but was trying to be really nice, and just approached her and told her that I was a wedding photographer, and wondered if she had someone else working with her to shoot the wedding. (thinking that maybe I just didn't see the second shooter)

Her answer (I kid you not) Was that when the pastor walked up in front of the guests before the ceremony, and announced that "the bride requests that you not take any photos of the processional, or during the ceremony," (as a favor to the photographer was implied... I thought) She (the FWAC) thought that meant EVERYONE, including her.

As for not taking any stills during the reception, I didn't even ask. I'm sure there was another bizarre reason.

Thankfully, the videographers knew their stuff, and I'm sure they will have some good photos of the day, but I was completely blown away.

I share this, as hopefully another "tool in your arsonal" (story to tell) during sales meetings about what CAN happen if the couple decides to hire a friend that "takes good pictures". if it isn't a misunderstanding like this, it could be another misunderstanding, which could ruin their wedding photos and memory books.

superpijak Loc: Middle TN

bkyser wrote:

I was a guest at a relative's wedding. I politely refused to do the photos, as this "branch" of the family tree has a way of screwing everyone. I know it isn't nice, but it is true.

Anyway, they hired a "friend with a camera. (aka FWAC)" As a guest, I didn't take my camera at all, I just wanted to enjoy the ceremony from my seat, like everyone else.

First, I forgot how boring it can be to sit there, when you are used to shooting.

Here's the bad part. The FWAC stood there with her arms crossed during the processional, the ceremony, and the recessional. It was driving me nuts. It also drove the videographers nuts, as I heard one frantically talking to the other saying "should someone tell her", then one of them grabbed the DSLR he was shooting with, and started getting stills. I kid you not.

She then took them outside on a 90degree day and shot formals for almost 2 hours while the guests all waited in the hall. It was so bad, they had to run up and get cold towels and Gatoraid for the bride, as she got very light headed. (mid day, 90ish degrees, full sun, not by the trees or anything)

The same thing happened during the reception, she took no photos. The video guys (who were absolutely super, and I would love to work with them sometime), were grabbing stills again, while the FWAC stood there with her arms crossed, and cried during the father daughter dance, etc.

I couldn't handle it, but was trying to be really nice, and just approached her and told her that I was a wedding photographer, and wondered if she had someone else working with her to shoot the wedding. (thinking that maybe I just didn't see the second shooter)

Her answer (I kid you not) Was that when the pastor walked up in front of the guests before the ceremony, and announced that "the bride requests that you not take any photos of the processional, or during the ceremony," (as a favor to the photographer was implied... I thought) She (the FWAC) thought that meant EVERYONE, including her.

As for not taking any stills during the reception, I didn't even ask. I'm sure there was another bizarre reason.

Thankfully, the videographers knew their stuff, and I'm sure they will have some good photos of the day, but I was completely blown away.

I share this, as hopefully another "tool in your arsonal" (story to tell) during sales meetings about what CAN happen if the couple decides to hire a friend that "takes good pictures". if it isn't a misunderstanding like this, it could be another misunderstanding, which could ruin their wedding photos and memory books.

I was a guest at a relative's wedding. I politel... (show quote)

Unbelievable......

hlmichel Loc: New Hope, Minnesota

Oh......Em.....Gee!

Kudos to you for not grabbing her camera to do it yourself.

Bobbee

You know what was really going on, I am surprised you fell for it.

The were SO SUPER PISSED at you for not talking the pictures they staged this girl to do this as they knew it was going to frustrate you and drive you crazy and thus making your wedding experience even darker. I mean think about it. who would do that when hired for that specific job. She must have been told to do that. And secretly told the Video guy to snap somepictes and tell you a story.

You have been set up my friend!!

superpijak Loc: Middle TN

Bobbee wrote:

You know what was really going on, I am surprised ... (show quote)

Bob - Are they really that cunning?

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

superpijak wrote:

Bob - Are they really that cunning?

Not this family. It actually would have been a fun set up, but if you added 1/2 wit to the whole group, you'd end up with a 1/2 wit

The FWAC fit right in.

Bobbee

superpijak wrote:

Bob - Are they really that cunning?

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? (And Mothers of the Bride) The Shadow knows.

superpijak Loc: Middle TN

Bobbee wrote:

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? (And Mothers of the Bride) The Shadow knows.

Sounds like Family-Zilla?

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

superpijak wrote:

Sounds like Family-Zilla?

One that I'm stuck with. She who must be obeyed, doesn't like them any more than I do, but they are still a rotten branch off their family tree. (so, we put up with it, but have learned about placing, and sticking with, boundaries. Unfortunately, we had to learn the hard way)

Tim Stapp Loc: Mid Mitten

This would be funny, if were not so sad for the couple.

Tim Stapp Loc: Mid Mitten

So, when the pastor requests no flash during the ceremony that means that I am to keep my clothing on?

Bobbee

bkyser wrote:

One that I'm stuck with. She who must be obeyed, doesn't like them any more than I do, but they are still a rotten branch off their family tree. (so, we put up with it, but have learned about placing, and sticking with, boundaries. Unfortunately, we had to learn the hard way)

See, we do it the other way, We treat family like people we know. I mean basically they are, aren't they? We just unfriend them or hit the UHH 'BLOCK' button. Problem solved. Then we move on, a little happier I might say.

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

Tim Stapp wrote:

So, when the pastor requests no flash during the ceremony that means that I am to keep my clothing on?

we can only hope :-)

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

Bobbee wrote:

See, we do it the other way, We treat family like people we know. I mean basically they are, aren't they? We just unfriend them or hit the UHH 'BLOCK' button. Problem solved. Then we move on, a little happier I might say.

There may be some wisdom in that attitude, but I'm one of those gluttons for punishment. I try to be the one that holds the family together. My grandmother was that person for a long time, then I somehow took over. It completely skipped my parents' generation.

I'm attempting to keep She who must be obeyed's family together too. Not easy, maybe even not a good idea. It's just how I'm wired.

Bobbee

bkyser wrote:

There may be some wisdom in that attitude, but I'm one of those gluttons for punishment. I try to be the one that holds the family together. My grandmother was that person for a long time, then I somehow took over. It completely skipped my parents' generation.

I'm attempting to keep She who must be obeyed's family together too. Not easy, maybe even not a good idea. It's just how I'm wired.

No good deed goes unpunished!!