Great British Army
Jun 21, 2015 15:47:58 #
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to an African jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) which protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, He's my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
''Well, sir, I graduated with the Sword of Honour from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the horse riding part of the Olympics. I have researched the history of....."
At that point, the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f**k off."
After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) which protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, He's my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
''Well, sir, I graduated with the Sword of Honour from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the horse riding part of the Olympics. I have researched the history of....."
At that point, the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f**k off."
Jun 21, 2015 15:59:39 #
Jun 21, 2015 16:04:43 #
A10 wrote:
Now that is funny!
Typically British :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Jun 21, 2015 16:11:12 #
Jun 21, 2015 21:42:42 #
Jun 21, 2015 22:43:25 #
Jun 22, 2015 05:15:36 #
Jun 22, 2015 07:51:37 #
Jun 22, 2015 08:15:24 #
Jun 22, 2015 09:34:21 #
Jun 22, 2015 09:46:50 #
Jun 22, 2015 10:12:33 #
And as the adjutant, Capt. Smithers, was showing the new colonel around the camp they came across a half-dozen camels in a pen behind the tents.
And what are those for? ask the colonel.
The men use them for sex, sir, replied the captain.
Thats disgusting! Remove them from the camp immediately!
A few weeks later the colonel asked his adjutant, Captain, those camels. Are they nearby?
Yes, sir, we moved them down the road.
A while later the colonel appears before the captain, just beaten to a pulp.
Smithers! I thought you said the men use the camels for sex.
Yes sir. They use them to ride to the village where the women are.
And what are those for? ask the colonel.
The men use them for sex, sir, replied the captain.
Thats disgusting! Remove them from the camp immediately!
A few weeks later the colonel asked his adjutant, Captain, those camels. Are they nearby?
Yes, sir, we moved them down the road.
A while later the colonel appears before the captain, just beaten to a pulp.
Smithers! I thought you said the men use the camels for sex.
Yes sir. They use them to ride to the village where the women are.
Jun 22, 2015 10:17:56 #
Jun 22, 2015 10:19:12 #
Jun 22, 2015 10:27:29 #
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