I may just need to vent here... But I had a situation at a wedding yesterday that has Never come up before and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I stupidly agreed to shoot a friends wedding (note to self: go back to that friendship/ business dosen't mix rule) I agreed to a rate Insanely below my usual charge, and didn't get a deposit. (because they're friends, and I apparently am an idiot) <--- None of this is the issue I'm just giving some background.
This was all done with the understanding that they're planning and funding a wedding, just had a baby..etc..etc.. and that they would pay after the envelopes were opened. (and they most certainly didn't cut any corners elsewhere)
I OF COURSE had them sign a contract and am good on my end.

Now these "friends" have a cousin who is a wedding photog. and a good one, who refused to shoot their wedding saying that "they couldn't afford him and that he wanted to enjoy their wedding as a guest"... both valid reasons in my book.
When going over the contract I clearly explained the clause where I was to be the exclusive photographer (a standard in everyones contract) as I clearly explained every nuance and what rights and responsibilities they entail for us both.

The "photographer cousin" who dosen't even bother attending the ceremony, shows up at the reception fully equipped and proceeds to be a total pain in the ass. Shooting the event like he was the person hired to be there..stepping in front of my 2nd shooter to "get the shot" working the room with zero regard for where he was in my images.. most of my dance shots have him in the background in angles that should have been clean.
needless to say I was severly annoyed. I tried to play it cool..gave him a laughing, "you're hired! where should I send your paycheck?" and showed him The great shot I got of him... In the background of my 1st dance shot... perhaps I should have been more clear, but I was pretty sure I had gotten my point across and this guy is no stranger to the industry. Though he is apparently a complete stranger to professional courtesy. I took the groom aside as well and expressed my concerns and he responded with "oh its just what he does for a living, don't be jealous" (which really pissed me off)

At this point I'm just trying to get through the night and this wedding that I'm regretting more and more as the event goes on. When the DJ alerts me that its time for the bouquet toss and asks where my bride and groom are... So I go looking for them and find them outside with "the cousin" and his wife... This guy has my bride and groom knee deep in mud on a hillside outside the hall with all of his lighting, softboxes etc.. set up. taking formal photographs of the couple. (which had already been done hours before)
Straw that broke the camels back. Needless to say I'm seeing RED at this point. I grabbed my second shooter and told him to pack up we were out of there. This was a clear breach of contract, and obviously that clown had no regard for the timeline of the event, or the work the other vendors were putting into keeping things running smoothly.
I was stopped at my van by the Father of the bride (who was a tyrant and had told several guests that he "hated" me.. a man I had met twice and had been nothing but polite and professional with) There were some heated words and he told me I had no right to dictate the actions of his guests. I responded that I did when his guest was a professional in the industry who had been stepping on my toes all night long and that my contract clearly states that I have exclusive rights to photograph the wedding and that guests may take photos within reason but they aren't to interfere with the contracted photography, and that what the cousin did went well beyond the pale of that reason and he was welcome to finish up the reception as he had taken it upon himself to shoot the event.

at this point my mud covered bride and groom have come off the hillside and get in the conversation.. I point out to them how we had gone over this and that I was completely insulted by their actions..to which they responded that they thought that "I was joking" when we went over the contract. (My contracts are clearly printed in black and white??)

In the end I went back in (I really should have just left in hindsight) Shot the rest of the reception and called it a night.
I went home with a raging headache and a very bad taste in my mouth.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me in all my years shooting weddings. I've had plenty of situations with family members who are also photographers politely asking me what my "rules" were for guests shooting.... or asking permission to also shoot my family formal poses after I had finished my shots..I always happily allow it. I am by no means one of those militant wedding photographers who have to "own" the event.

I am doing my best right now to look at this pragmatically and decide how to handle it. I'm not even sure I have a course of action. Not one penny has exchanged hands at this point and I'm really feeling like this friendship is permanently damaged and that I've been shown a complete lack of respect both as a friend and as a professional.

Anyone ever encounter something like this and have any advice on how I should handle it?

I may just need to vent here... But I had a situation at a wedding yesterday that has Never come up before and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I stupidly agreed to shoot a friends wedding (note to self: go back to that friendship/ business dosen't mix rule) I agreed to a rate Insanely below my usual charge, and didn't get a deposit. (because they're friends, and I apparently am an idiot) <--- None of this is the issue I'm just giving some background.
This was all done with the understanding that they're planning and funding a wedding, just had a baby..etc..etc.. and that they would pay after the envelopes were opened. (and they most certainly didn't cut any corners elsewhere)
I OF COURSE had them sign a contract and am good on my end.

Now these "friends" have a cousin who is a wedding photog. and a good one, who refused to shoot their wedding saying that "they couldn't afford him and that he wanted to enjoy their wedding as a guest"... both valid reasons in my book.
When going over the contract I clearly explained the clause where I was to be the exclusive photographer (a standard in everyones contract) as I clearly explained every nuance and what rights and responsibilities they entail for us both.

The "photographer cousin" who dosen't even bother attending the ceremony, shows up at the reception fully equipped and proceeds to be a total pain in the ass. Shooting the event like he was the person hired to be there..stepping in front of my 2nd shooter to "get the shot" working the room with zero regard for where he was in my images.. most of my dance shots have him in the background in angles that should have been clean.
needless to say I was severly annoyed. I tried to play it cool..gave him a laughing, "you're hired! where should I send your paycheck?" and showed him The great shot I got of him... In the background of my 1st dance shot... perhaps I should have been more clear, but I was pretty sure I had gotten my point across and this guy is no stranger to the industry. Though he is apparently a complete stranger to professional courtesy. I took the groom aside as well and expressed my concerns and he responded with "oh its just what he does for a living, don't be jealous" (which really pissed me off)

At this point I'm just trying to get through the night and this wedding that I'm regretting more and more as the event goes on. When the DJ alerts me that its time for the bouquet toss and asks where my bride and groom are... So I go looking for them and find them outside with "the cousin" and his wife... This guy has my bride and groom knee deep in mud on a hillside outside the hall with all of his lighting, softboxes etc.. set up. taking formal photographs of the couple. (which had already been done hours before)
Straw that broke the camels back. Needless to say I'm seeing RED at this point. I grabbed my second shooter and told him to pack up we were out of there. This was a clear breach of contract, and obviously that clown had no regard for the timeline of the event, or the work the other vendors were putting into keeping things running smoothly.
I was stopped at my van by the Father of the bride (who was a tyrant and had told several guests that he "hated" me.. a man I had met twice and had been nothing but polite and professional with) There were some heated words and he told me I had no right to dictate the actions of his guests. I responded that I did when his guest was a professional in the industry who had been stepping on my toes all night long and that my contract clearly states that I have exclusive rights to photograph the wedding and that guests may take photos within reason but they aren't to interfere with the contracted photography, and that what the cousin did went well beyond the pale of that reason and he was welcome to finish up the reception as he had taken it upon himself to shoot the event.

at this point my mud covered bride and groom have come off the hillside and get in the conversation.. I point out to them how we had gone over this and that I was completely insulted by their actions..to which they responded that they thought that "I was joking" when we went over the contract. (My contracts are clearly printed in black and white??)

In the end I went back in (I really should have just left in hindsight) Shot the rest of the reception and called it a night.
I went home with a raging headache and a very bad taste in my mouth.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me in all my years shooting weddings. I've had plenty of situations with family members who are also photographers politely asking me what my "rules" were for guests shooting.... or asking permission to also shoot my family formal poses after I had finished my shots..I always happily allow it. I am by no means one of those militant wedding photographers who have to "own" the event.

I am doing my best right now to look at this pragmatically and decide how to handle it. I'm not even sure I have a course of action. Not one penny has exchanged hands at this point and I'm really feeling like this friendship is permanently damaged and that I've been shown a complete lack of respect both as a friend and as a professional.

Anyone ever encounter something like this and have any advice on how I should handle it?

Just my thoughts as a very amateur photographer, but as someone who worked weddings (church hall and catering ) many years ago and from the kitchen and clean up, I saw a whole lot of very, very strange behavior by people. From my experiences doing weddings as described above, they are simply high tension, weird events. I no longer even attend them as I cannot stand the what I see is a lot of "phoniness". I am happy for folks that choose to marry if that is what they choose to do, but weddings in my opinion are simply for showing off.

If you can afford to do so, produce the photos for them and give them the package as your wedding gift to them. Then walk away from what you believed to be a friendship, because it appears it was not one.

Stay professional on your end, do the job you were hired to do and no more. I am really sorry this happened to you, but as the wise man once said "you pay for your education" and often that is not in a classroom.
Best of Luck!

There's a lot of good advice in this thread. However, I think I might be inclined to write a business-to-business letter to the photographer who hijacked your job, explaining that you were amazed at his unprofessional conduct. The fact that he was a cousin of the bride and groom could not be used as an excuse for such bad behaviour. I would tell him that you hope he won't repeat such behaviour at any future event for which he wasn't hired. Things like this tend to get talked about and he'll lose business rather than getting recommended for more.

What with almost everyone having smartphones with caneras, it would seem to make the "exclusive" part of contracts nearly imposible to control. In my daughters recent wedding there were 100 invited guests and except for one elderly grandmother and about 10 young children everyone had a smartphone. How many pics, some selfies with bride or groom, must have numbered in the high hundreds. Last year I had an acquaintence tell me how his brother set up a bunch of wall/ceiling video cams in every room in addition to there being a pro photographer hired by the bride's parents. I would imagine that would be a contract violation but might the pro never knowing.