I saw this joke sometime ago. Just don't remember where or how long ago but it's still funny. Thought I would share. If some poor soul was to actually do this he would deserve a Darwin Award and a full time life guard. This is funny no matter who you are!

If you have every been shocked by a HI-Perf ignition system of 50,000 volts, just imagine 100,000 volt shock at 20 times a second. Ouch!!

Terry

Last weekend I saw something at The Gun Show that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Dana. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Dana what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Leo looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Leo (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. He is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water
.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with his head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

· My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV.
· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

Correct me if I'm wrong. It seems to me that I either read or someone told me that the Big Boy could pull 125 loaded coal cars, of it's day, at 55 mph. Does anyone know if that's true.

Terry

Yes, it was. And thanks for the compliment Earnest.

Shot these photos with a Canon T4i with Sigma 17-70 2.8-4 DC lens. Shot in jpg at 100 possibly 200 iso. Don't remember shutter speed or aperture. It was very cloudy that day, thus now shadows. Clouds were stormy in appearance even tho it wasn't storming. PP the first photo of big boy a bit in PS Elements. The other 2 have a very little if any PP.

Appreciate any critique.

Terry

Big Boy


Diesel Locomotive


Front view of Big Boy

Have been interested in photography for a number years. Shot a good bit in the film days but got away from it due to other interests. Finally bought a Canon T4i about 3 yrs ago. Wanted to start with Nikon but ended up with Canon. I don't have as much time to put into practice as I would like. Shoot mostly with a Sigma 17-70mm lens. Still have lots to learn. I prefer to shoot objects or scenery.

Thanks all for the replies. There were a few hints that made me suspicious. One was the pricing and the other was something about another body being a US version which tells me one might not get what they ordered.

Thanks again

Terry

Does anyone know anything about the thedigitalpros.com site? Looking to possible upgrade to a Nikon D750 and there price seems rather cheap for this particular camera. Do not want to end up with a gray market camera.

Appreciate any info.