bimmer124 wrote:
Oh, I did not call you any names. Your writings prove who and what you are. You would be considered the elephant in the room.
You sir a lying SOB as you called me a PRICK in your beginning statement.
bimmer124 wrote:
Do you even have a camera that takes pictures?
I have seen ignorant but your type is reserved for the type like the klan. I am sure you could find your kind in other forums rather than here. This was once a very family like forum dev**ed to photography. Then your kind walked into the room and ruined it for all.
Congratulations.
What a typical hypocrite liberal you are. MY TYPE, well lets see I accidentally made a mistake by placing this in the wrong section and you immediately come back with negative remarks and call me a PRICK and then you in your sick liberal mind say I am the bad guy and started this whole thing. What a typical looser ass you are.
Peterff wrote:
Now you have revealed your r****m, hypocrisy, prejudice, true nature and also your stupidity. You are indeed a complete prick, albeit a small one, yet you took the bait and walked straight into exposing yourself. Honestly, was your response the best you can do? You are not impressing anybody here.
And to your final comment, there is nothing wrong with being a pussy cat, have you noticed that they play with their food? Cats are efficient k**lers, and unlike dogs are mostly capable of hunting alone. Dogs typically have to hunt in packs.
Time for you to go the attic, and try to stay there.
Now you have revealed your r****m, hypocrisy, prej... (
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You are more than welcome Miss Peterff, By the way why would you reference yourself as Peterff, does that mean in reality your a dick fart fucker?
Peterff wrote:
Wrong section, but mostly these are not offensive and could applied to almost any religion or ethnicity. However, I will pour some gas on the fire here:
"Why don't Jews post bad jokes like this in the main photography section of UHH?"
"Because you have to be a complete prick to post jokes in the wrong section!"
Understandable remark coming from someone living in the liberal gay capital of Commifornia. I am willing to bet your boy friend just loves your style and humor tempered with your understanding of only a pussy like you is perfect.
There was not one single swear word in their comedy.
Here are a few examples:
* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll k**l me!
* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"
* Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
* My wife and I went back to the
hotel where we spent our wedding night;
Only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
* The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. "
Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."
The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They're worth it.
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now .
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
A man called his mother in Florida ,
"Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.
She asks, "What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
"The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody."
Short summary of every Jewish holiday:
They tried to k**l us. We won. Let's eat.
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said,
"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself," she replied.
Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler will let go.
Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off.
Memories of the good ole days .
Rathyatra wrote:
A Cautionary Message!!
:thumbup: I read the whole darn thing and then when I got to the last sentence I realized how right you are. :lol: :lol:
jerryc41 wrote:
Every three years, I go for a professional haircut, as opposed to my usual routine of scissors and a couple of mirrors in the bathroom. I've been trying to decide on a new hair style, and I think I've found it. What do you think? Now, when the stylist asks me how I'd like my hair cut, I can just show this picture. Anyone see a problem with this idea?
:thumbup: Puts a new spin on just a little off the top don't it but does the back of your head look as fruitful as the front? Mine sure doesn't, I know cause there has to be a reason the wife calls me Moon Beam when the sun goes down. :lol: :lol: :oops:
mullumby wrote:
Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
Hollywood Squares: br These great questions and a... (
show quote)
:thumbup: These are a remembrance of the good old days I surely hate to loose, thanks for posting. :lol: :lol:
I guess it's good to know that my great, great, great, great ,great, great, great , great, great. great, great, great grandfather had sex with his daughter back then and thats why all mankind has all these mental and physical ailments to this day. That makes the worries I had so much less I can't believe it, thank heaven for the god like minds of recent scientists or we as a people would really be screwed up.
Mac wrote:
http://petapixel.com/2016/02/11/photographer-harassed-online-calling-pop-star-stealing-photo/
Theft by the infamous peoples like boy band druggies is OK just not for the little people but the photographer should have signed or water marked that picture before putting it anywhere in public view. Kind of a double edged sword.
Graham Thirkill wrote:
Petender, as animal lovers, it's more than just a stage act, to us isn't it. Couldn't you just pick the little dog up and give her a great big hug..............................and a kiss.......I know I could. Bless her little heart.
Thanks again to you for your comments and always having a cheery word with me.
Graham\098/
:thumbup: It don't get any cooler than your little master, I mean dog. Way to go Graham. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Graham Thirkill wrote:
Some of you will have seen it but even if you have you wil thoroughly enjoy it again, she got a standing ovation and well deserved, a really fantastic enjoyable Act. Iv'e watched it more than ten times and I still enjoy it.
http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/xU7FdD1SpHc?rel=0Graham\098/
:thumbup: I have watched this about as many times as you and never tire of watching it again, thanks Graham. :lol:
SBW wrote:
Mrs. Cruz is not the one speaking out against them and criticizing them to get v**es. Did you miss that difference?
Your just feeding Greenies psychotic and perverted mind by replying to it, I mean him. Giving him all of what the little C****e troll wishes. Him and his C****e friends are teaching us well. :XD:
Kuzano wrote:
My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat. About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her. (Try to get a mental picture of this.) Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, Well, Doctor, Ill bet youve never seen anything like this before.
The doctor replied, Actually, Ive seen lots of them
I just never saw one mounted and framed.
My wife, Julie, had been after me for several week... (
show quote)
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: Now that I can, no I have to send on to my doc, thanks.