British Airways flight announcement

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and . . . OH MY GOD!"

Silence followed.

Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled . . . "For the luvva Jaysus . . . you should see the back of mine!"

Graham\098/

RESURRECTION QUESTION
While the priest was presenting a children's sermon.
He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial,
But at the same time, asking children questions in front of a
congregation can also be very dangerous.
In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.