It was around 1989, my wife, daughter and I flew out to Cal. (from Ct.) to visit friends. Our home base was San Francisco (which was beautiful back then) and from there we travelled to see our old homes in Vallejo and Napa, where we had lived in the late 70's. Our good friends from Napa had moved to Apple Valley (southern Cal. in the desert) and invited us down for a visit. Upon arriving we found out that our friend Judy worked for the Chamber of Commerce in Victorville. I didn't know this at the time, but Victorville is where the Roy Roger's Museum is located. Come to find out, Judy knew Roy and called to see if we could meet him!!!!!!! I was 39 years old , but felt like a little kid, I was so excited. It turned out that he was out of town. Broke my heart. He was my HERO as a kid. I had collected his memorabilia over the years and Judy told me to send some things to her and she would get them autographed for me. I did and she did. I still have the autographs and RR cap guns somewhere around here. Anyway (and here's my point) I asked one of the curator's where "stuffed" Trigger was and she was highly perturbed that I used the word stuffed. "Trigger is not stuffed, he's mounted !!" I believe the museum is long gone. One of the best vacations I ever had.

A bit of a long one, but a good one.

The Queen is visiting the army hospital in Scotland. She has heard how tough the Scots are, and
wants to meet some of these hero's.

She says hello to the first soldier in his bed.

Queen "And what are in here for?"
Soldier " Piles Ma'am, healing nicely though ma'am"
Queen "And what treatment are you receiving?"
Soldier "Wire brush and Dettol ma'am"
Queen "Oh my, and what ambitions do you have once you get out of here?"
Soldier "To get out of here and fight for you and my country ma'am"
Queen "Well done that man."

The queen moves to the second soldier.

Queen "And what are you in here for soldier?"
Soldier " Veneral Disease Ma'am."
Queen "And what treatment are you receiving?"
Soldier "Wire brush and Dettol ma'am"
Queen "Oh my, and what ambitions do you have for when you get out of here?"
Soldier "To get out of here and fight for you and my country ma'am"
Queen "Well done that man."

she moves to the last wee Scotsman at the end of the row.

Queen "And what are you in here for?"
Soldier " Laryngitis ma'am" he croaks.
Queen "Ohh, had that myself, very unpleasant. And what treatment are you receiving?"
Soldier " Wire brush and Dettol ma'am."
Queen "And what ambitions do you have now?"
Soldier "To get the wire brush and dettol before those dirty ba****ds ma'am!!!"

Iv'e had a warning from Admin about some of my jokes, due to other users complaining, so I have
to be careful or I'll be history. I think this joke will be ok. Maybe there should be a censors office like
they have in Prisons. I served 5 years in Leeds Prison in England. Yes I did, I was a discipline officer,
I think the USA call them guards. Cheers and Beers Grahm...098