That slimy looking used car salesman from Canada was ruined long before she came along. :lol:

That was totally different and very well done. What a talent. And he is a Uke like me. Thanks Mark for the post.

All I get is my gmail in box.

It's too dam liberal for me too. :thumbdown:

Judy Gerstel | April 28th, 2016

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Actress and author Lena ("Girls") Dunham said this week that she'll move to Canada if Donald Trump is elected president.
She's not the only one who wants to come over to the side where happy days are here again. Last month, as Trump scooped up his primary wins, Google searches by Americans for "how to move from the U.S. to Canada" were up 455 per cent over the previous month.
But while Google may have information about immigration procedures and residency requirements, we think it's just as important for prospective Canadians to become familiar with Canadian etiquette:
1. When flying on a Canadian airline and occupying a middle seat, remember to stay as small as possible, in order not to annoy the people on either side. Do not attempt to use the armrests, as this would be considered assertive and therefore un-Canadian.

2. Never mention achievements. Canadians do not boast about themselves or any family member. Double down on that if it's about your children. We don't want to know if your offspring has developed a new social media program that could rival Facebook. We especially don't want to know if she's 13.
3. Temper your success. The only success Canadians want to celebrate are finding a cure for cancer or winning the Stanley Cup. If you're not involved in either of the above, forget it. Be aware: too much success in any other field may result in extradition back to the U.S.
4. If you see a famous celebrity in a restaurant or on the sidewalk, do not respond or acknowledge that this is someone worth looking at. Do not under any circumstances approach this person for a selfie or an autograph. Some exceptions are allowed: Justin, Sophie, Royal personages, Peter Mansbridge, Mick Jagger. Borderline are Jose Bautista and Margaret Atwood.
5. Do not question the nationality of people Canadians consider Canadian. We claim them as Canadian even if they were born elsewhere, spent their entire lives after birth residing in another country, and do not hold Canadian citizenship. However, we do not claim Ted Cruz who was born in Alberta.
6. Leave all your prejudices on the other side of the border. We are tolerant to a fault, whether it's about ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation. Nevertheless, we do tend to think that Tea Partiers are completely nuts and most Republicans are suspect.
7. Learn how to tap your credit card so you don't hold up other people waiting in line.
8. Refrain from saying anything disparaging about Canadian football or Tim Hortons coffee. On the other hand, it's not impolite to complain about the Canadian climate. You can also complain about exorbitant real estate prices, sticker shock and traffic in Toronto. We all do.
9. Best not to say much about the Canadian universal health system or Canadian taxes. We're very conflicted about these and you might say the wrong thing. We Canadians do dump on the health system all the time because of very long waits for procedures and very short doctor visits — if you can find a doctor. But we also don't pay for health care and no one loses their home or goes bankrupt to pay medical bills. Sure, you'll have to wait months, maybe years, for a knee replacement but it won't cost you $33,098 U.S., the average cost in the country you're escaping.
10. Realize that Trump is the anti-Canadian in every way and because that's why you're here, you'll do just fine and we welcome you.

Totally agree. The only charity I trust where my money will go to the people that need it is the Salvation Army.

Good Idea, blow up the bridge and build a wall.

You should come to Canada, it's not blocked here plus nudity is not blurred out on our TV movies. Better hurry before we build the wall. :lol: :thumbup:

Not blocked here, it was the best I've seen in a while. Had to wipe the tears of laughter out of my eyes a few times. :thumbup:

Thank you earth for not shaking us off like a dog with flees. We sure as hell deserve it.

Very nice, job well done. :thumbup:

I remember once back in Saskatchewan a couple of the neighbors cats wondered over to our farm and would not go home so my father caught them in a live trap and took a rag soaked with turpentine and wiped some of it on their rear ends and we never seen them again.

April 1 2016 :thumbup:

April 1st, 2016
Donald Trump Holds Rally In Utah Ahead Of State's Caucuses
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Republican p**********l hopeful Donald Trump is threatening to sue the province of Saskatchewan after a local MP revealed he planned to build a wall along his province’s border with America and cease exports to the U.S if the outspoken real estate mogul is elected president.
During a press conference with local media on Tuesday, MP Gord Maple of Big Beaver, Sask., said that he planned to introduce a bill to not only erect a wall along his town’s border with Montana and North Dakota, but that he’d force Trump to pay for it. He also threatened to cease trading one of Saskatchewan’s biggest exports – fertilizer – with the U.S., the province’s largest trading partner.
“A Trump regime wouldn’t need our fertilizer. He’s full of enough bullsh-t for the entire country,” Maple, who also chairs the Big Beaver Board of Commerce (BBBOC), quipped before the assembled crowd. He also noted that, as a slight to Trump, he’d push for his province to start trading directly with Mexico, which he claimed, “is a nation we’d be proud to send our poop to.”
Maple later admitted that having Trump pay for the wall was a joke but that he couldn’t be more serious about building it. “The last thing we want is any part of Trump entering Big Beaver.”

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd
eventually find me attractive.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom,
until they're flashing behind you.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the
local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer
will say, "Your password is incorrect."

-Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and
procrastinate all at once.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the
other 80 percent are glad you have them.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually
expected?

Take my advice - I'm not using it.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.

I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound
perspicacious.

Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you
wish they were.

Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a
computer.

I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is
gathering dust.

Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a
more-talented fool.

I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on
your pants.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to
jump out of her way.

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend
thinking.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself
type.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have mow
it.

I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.

I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.