aellman Loc: Boston MA

Follow your gut. It will cost you a few bucks but save a world of pain. >Alan

NJFrank Loc: New Jersey

Tell them while waiting for them to make a decision you booked another wedding for that day. This way you don’t have to be put in an unwinable position.

MichaelEBM Loc: Los Angeles CA

There are so many red flags. She misunderstood your work and perceived "soft focus" as "out of focus." She categorically stated that her wedding "would not run overtime." She wanted "wall portraits" which turned out to be "8 x 10." I'm not even sure that jacking up your prices would ultimately be worth it! She seems very controlling and could be a pebble in your shoe well after the event. Do listen to your gut! Good luck and keep us posted.

scphoto Loc: Lancaster, CA

If the bride isn't 110% on board - walk away and don't look back.....

Bill_de Loc: US

There is a version of this excuse for any occasion. In this case just tell them straight out:

THE DOG ATE MY FILM!

--

10MPlayer Loc: California

I haven't read through all the replies to your post but I'd suggest telling them something's come up and you won't be able to do the wedding. You don't need to offer any more information than that. Just say you can't do it and leave it at that. It's not totally honest and some people have such high standards, like my wife for instance, that they could never tell a little white lie. But in my mind it's harmless, gets you out the job, and doesn't leave any bad feelings.

fotoman150

Thanks for reading all the posts. Your response was well informed. I agree whole heartedly.

fotoman150

I’m hoping they back out in their own.

anotherview Loc: California

Simply write a note (or better yet an e-mail) saying, "Thank you for considering me to photograph your wedding. Unfortunately, I must decline this opportunity. I wish you all the best."

Do not explain yourself to the other party. If questioned, then just say, "I made a business decision, and I hope you understand. But thank you for the consideration. I wish you well."

Keep any conversation brief. Beg off if pursued, saying, "I have a business associate waiting to meet with me. I must go now. Thank you. Goodbye."

Say your words in a mild, courteous manner.

Old Edmundo

If the wife is not happy no-one is happy, I would thank them for considering you and Walk away.

Charles 46277 Loc: Fulton County, KY

I am not a pro but had chances to do work professionally now and then. I would never do a wedding because of the intense emotions involved. Frankly, I think people put too much importance on the event when they should be planning for marriage.

I worked in a hotel that did weddings a lot, and one time when there was big extravagant wedding one of the busboys (a Russian immigrant) ridiculed the whole thing--"Don't all these people know the man is a bus driver?"

My parents were married in the winter of 1939 in Winchester, KY. They were able to get married because my father got a raise (from $8 a week to $11--no holidays, no days off, 14 hours a day), and they moved into a room in a boarding house. The wedding was in a little add-on chapel on a retired preacher's house, and the preacher used a box camera to take their picture outside. It was rainy and very cold (they had their overcoats on) and the wind was blowing, and the preacher stood too far back so they did not fill the frame, but in that one picture they looked deliriously happy. After the wedding, they went to Aunt Pat's house for cookies and punch. Later he got her a better ring, but she still always wore the real one, from a dime store. When she died of cancer 63 years later, she woke up from the opiates briefly and Dad was holding her hand. Her last words were, "The happiest day of my life was the day I married you."

Today the bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage (they are out of money for a start). The money for photography makes me queasy, and when I see these cry babies on Judge Judy complaining about how their life was ruined by the wedding problems or a cake that did not match the hideous dresses, I wonder how or why anybody could marry people like that.

I have read in books how to photograph a wedding, and when I have gone to weddings I observed them, but that only alarmed me all the more. I know it is the bread and butter of commercial studios, but they must have nerves of steel or no sense of proportion.

Charles 46277 Loc: Fulton County, KY

That is not a lie--something came up (a foreboding sense of dread).

Charles 46277 Loc: Fulton County, KY

You don't even have to make up a wedding--just say you had to commit to something else that day (don't tell them it is fishing, or just "anything but this"). I agree with the one who said the bride has to love your work--or move on.

fotoman150

It’s not that bad. You’re catastrophizing. I’ve done hundreds of wedding. Only had one complaint and his is the only one I am going to turn down.

billbarcus Loc: IPNW

Wedding photography is for a certain breed of cat (IMHO) and I'm not one of them. I met a Bridezilla or three when I thought shooting weddings would put a whole lot of $$ in the bank. I then discovered, to my amazement and liking, that shooting Aerials for real-estate developers, brokers, and construction companies paid way better money ... and, I didn't have to put up with the snooty Bridezillas and go to all the head aches and hell of creating prints, albums, and all the rest of that BS. Additionally, shooting aerials was way more exciting and fun ... and, I discovered the world of shooting beautiful landscapes that found their ways into homes, banks, and a host of other clients.

To each, their own. When one stays glued to shooting weddings, one will, without a doubt what-so-ever, meet lots of Bridezillas along the journey. Good luck (if there is any such thing, as luck).