DJ Mills Loc: Idaho

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are;

- You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.

- Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

- Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

- If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

- And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

oldmalky Loc: West Midlands,England.

Always try with rule three

PRETENDER Loc: Micanopy,Florida

Amen

kodakmomentsnow Loc: Tucker ga.

DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Martys Loc: Lubec, Maine

How about,.....

I you can't fix it with a hammer,....You have an electrical problem.

Martys

sunsacre Loc: Western Minnesota

Sums it up :) :thumbup: :)

UP-2-IT Loc: RED STICK, LA

You forgot one dj,
Stop going to family reunions hoping to meet some hot chick.

DJ Mills Loc: Idaho

Thou art so wise.

DougW Loc: SoCal

Murphy was an optimist

Skip-M Loc: Phoenix AZ

Get a life

quagmire Loc: Greenwood,South Carolina

Old people rules
1 never waste an erection
2 never miss a chance to pee
3 never trust a fart

pipesgt Loc: Central Florida

I have always wondered how they won the west. without duct tape.

DJ Mills Loc: Idaho

I have a friend who claims they could have kept the Titanic afloat if they had a box of duct tape.

:idea:

bikinkawboy Loc: north central Missouri

Here's a few of the rules I try to live by:

No matter how bad things seem (bill collectors, people complaining, etc), keep in mind that they may chew you up, but they can't swallow you. (In other words, the world will not end if you don't let it.)

Regardless of how foolish other people think you are, live your life so that you go to bed with a clear conscience and you never have to be ashamed of who you see in the mirror the next morning.

Keep in mind that what goes around, comes around. Fate does its best to make you pay for your past misdeeds.

If you are wrong, admit it immediately. It takes the pleasure away from those who would ride you into the dirt for your mistake.

Opinions are like butts; everyone has one. Don't be afraid to express your opinion, but let the other person express theirs as well.

When you argue, don't start formulating your response until the other person has finished talking. (This only works when both people follow that rule. I would let my ex exrpess her opinion, but when it was my turn to talk, she'd walk away.)

You can love someone but still not like what they do. It's particularly important to let your children know that.

Take your mother out to eat on any day other than Mother's Day. Too many people ignore mom 364 days a year and then out of guilt, take her out to eat on Mother's Day.

Incidently, my daughter tells me to remember that she's the one who will be choosing my nursing home!

Floyd Loc: Misplaced Texan in Florence, Alabama

Another rule for life: "O'Bannon's Law says Murphy was conservative."