An Irish Mother's letter to her Son
Aug 3, 2012 10:49:06 #
Dear Son,
Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - because we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved 25 miles to Wexford.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle. Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!
Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Distillery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.
I'm sorry to say that your idiot cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.
We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the metallic buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday.. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He wound down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the flatbed at the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much has happened.
Your loving Mum.
PS - I wanted to send you some money with this letter but I have already closed the envelope.
Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - because we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved 25 miles to Wexford.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle. Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!
Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Distillery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.
I'm sorry to say that your idiot cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.
We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the metallic buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday.. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He wound down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the flatbed at the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much has happened.
Your loving Mum.
PS - I wanted to send you some money with this letter but I have already closed the envelope.
Aug 3, 2012 11:28:02 #
Jolly Roger wrote:
Dear Son, br br Just a few lines to let you know ... (show quote)
There is no humour quite like the Irish humour. lol...... :). :)
Aug 4, 2012 09:08:37 #
Aug 4, 2012 09:57:57 #
Aug 5, 2012 01:01:59 #
I heard that washing machine had two lids so she used one for a bread board and the other to frame grandpaws picture.
Aug 5, 2012 03:13:22 #
Hal81 wrote:
I heard that washing machine had two lids so she used one for a bread board and the other to frame grandpaws picture.
Now thats funny I'm irish but think im to drunk to talk about that. HEEHEEE
Aug 5, 2012 18:09:41 #
I can just hear the Irish brogue that the letter writer sent along with that note to her son.
Aug 5, 2012 21:25:06 #
LaughBrian wrote:
Now thats funny I'm irish but think im to drunk to talk about that. HEEHEEE
Hal81 wrote:
I heard that washing machine had two lids so she used one for a bread board and the other to frame grandpaws picture.
Now thats funny I'm irish but think im to drunk to talk about that. HEEHEEE
Im 1/4 Irish so I can say that. Im also 1/4 Englsh 1/4 German & 1/4 Dutch A real mongrol.
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