Costco Doctor
May 2, 2018 09:03:15 #
One day, at the lunch bunch meeting, Nate says to AL, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Al replies
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Nate deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.... He pours the sample into the slot and waits..
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Nate began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Nate hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4.. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours... Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Dennis
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Al replies
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Nate deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.... He pours the sample into the slot and waits..
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Nate began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Nate hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4.. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours... Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Dennis
May 2, 2018 09:18:48 #
May 2, 2018 09:46:56 #
crafterwantabe wrote:
Thanks for the chuckle! 😂😂😂😂😂
Glad you liked it. I hesitated to post it but then remembered some other jokes in this section. All in all it is pretty tame compared to some.
Dennis
May 2, 2018 10:40:51 #
May 2, 2018 10:52:13 #
May 2, 2018 11:24:47 #
May 2, 2018 16:27:21 #
dennis2146 wrote:
One day, at the lunch bunch meeting, Nate says to ... (show quote)
Good one, Dennis!
Mark
May 2, 2018 20:04:11 #
May 3, 2018 07:36:26 #
May 3, 2018 08:29:47 #
May 3, 2018 08:46:19 #
May 3, 2018 11:27:41 #
May 3, 2018 11:28:01 #
May 3, 2018 12:27:55 #
May 3, 2018 13:01:46 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.